John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica

 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Fucking Rants v2.001

View higher-rez image

It was just too much to friggin' hope for.  When I clicked download, I told myself, "Don't get your hopes up.  You know it will never happen so don't be disappointed when it doesn't.  If it does transfer, you'll be pleasantly surprised".  Yeah, right.  It's a common thing these days, being on the web.  You view/download web pages like this one, you exchange email, you read the news, or maybe you chat online.  You expect a certain amount of reliability in the technology underlying your activities.

And if you're like most of us, you take it for granted.  You don't think about the advanced engineering technology of your automobile when you're dripping special sauce onto your lap while eating your Big Mac running a lunchtime errand to the pharmacy because you ran out of ibuprofen last night after listening to your mate bitching for three hours about the back-stabbing co-worker getting a bigger raise and your fucking head is still throbbing.

You don't think about it until your car magically won't start.  Then all the other stresses become instantly secondary.  The top-of-the-line car audio system with the XM satellite radio that made you finally cave in at the dealership to that middle-aged nasally-voiced lying weasel with the bad comb-over to buy the car doesn't even enter your mind because your fucking head is still throbbing and the car won't start.  You get neandrethal.  Zog make fire!  Zog know!  Zog check battery!

The same is true with whatever form of digital masturbation in which you prefer to participate online.  If you've used computers long enough, you've seen the blue screen of death (BSOD).  If you haven't yet, you will.  Maybe you've seen a co-worker or friend turn into Zog when some program locks up their computer, or maybe turn into a whining little bitch when their report won't print out, or better yet when 'the network is down', they turn into a torch and pitchfork-wielding peasant running through the village of office cubicles screaming at others to join them in the mob on its way to storm the castle Franken-technology department.

Me? I turn into the 2001: Space Odyssey Zog, throwing the leg bone of a fresh kill on the savannah through the air while classical music plays in my mind like Hannibal Lekter bashing in Sargeant Pembrey's skull with a nightstick while blood splatters all over my face because HAL won't open the fucking pod bay doors.  I turn into this Zog when I'm using the dialup modem technology that has been unreliable and annoying since an Imajica BBS user back in the D-A-Y used a 2400 baud modem to download a jpg of some amateur pornstar dressed like a cheerleader getting it up the ass with a 12-inch pulsating purple dildo because his fat wife is getting old and never did like anal sex.

So, anyway ...

All I wanted to do was download this Quake 3 map and check it out.  After waiting very patiently for over an hour-and-a-half, like the 2400 baud modem using accountant waiting for his cheerleader, I sat down in front of the PC and said to myself, "Wow! It's almost done -- 11 MBs transferred".  So, not wanting to do anything else online to disturb its steady progress, I scrolled up and re-read the ..::LvL reviews already displayed in another window, which took several minutes, and then decided to pass some more time playing a few games of freecell on the local desktop.  I glanced down at the minimized FilePlanet transfer window indicating 97% done.  I got so excited.  I closed the freecell game.  98% percent done.  I took a sip of coffee.  I felt my anticipation of hearing the file transfer complete sound like an over-sexed teenager with a raging hard-on copping the first feel of his girlfriend's breast in the backseat his dad's car parked in a quiet suburban cul-de-sac waiting to hear, "Yes, I'll fuck you"

Just then my connection dropped.


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Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Technical Difficulties

It's not called 'Thunderstorms in the Imajica' for nothing ... We've been getting some storms and hard rains lately.  When that happens, my phone service (Sprint) is flaky at best.
That makes using the dial-up even flakier.  As soon as I can, I'll update the blog with some of the stuff that's been going on lately. 

One unusual thing is that I slept last night like a normal person.  Retardo Cat ran away so his non-stop howling didn't keep me awake when I should be sleeping.  It's one of the first mornings in months that I actually awoke feeling good.  He showed up this morning, a filthy white cat for spending the night in the rain.  Unfortunately for him, he may be off to a no-kill shelter where they'll likely snip his furry little balls off.  But they will wait until someone can take him in.  Marion county is known for its thoroughbred horse ranches so I'm sure some sucker will adopt him to become the outdoor mouse-catcher in the barn.

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Monday, March 15, 2004
Morphine Dreams

Bed Ridden 2 Well, as I said on the tag board in between one thunderstorm and the next, Morphine Dreams has a new home now.  I wanted to do so much with my grafix and pix over on the space Hygelic kindly provided, but I didn't want to create a filespace and bandwidth monster.  It would have been a very daunting task, nonetheless.

deviantART is the host.  It seems to be a nice community of amateur and more skilled artists and artisans.
I spent some time figuring out how to customize the site.  I definitely had to make a little avatar.  There are forums and such where the avatar shows up in your comments.  And then, I had to make the HFD link button to point to Morphine Dreams.  It's up there on the left, below my JfZ reloaded mug.

I'm telling you where it is so you will stop dribbling spittle all over your keyboard, move your mouse over there and click the friggin' thing.  Seriously, come visit.

I'm uploading the older stuff first, but hopefully all the new stuff will be stored there as well.  I plan on scanning in old photo sets (aka pix) and the some of the new ones and displaying them there.  I won't have to worry about filespace and bandwidth, so I can put up higher quality images.

Morphine Dreams is going to be where I blog about grafix and pix.  There's a journal.  The site also allows me to not only upload my work, but also categorize it.  I prefer an organized life.  For example, if you wanted to see more sketches I've drawn like Bed Ridden 2 (shown), you can.  I can easily reference it here in Thunderstorms for you to check out.  Plus, whether you like it or hate it, you can leave comments easily there, too.   We'll see how the site develops as I can work on it.
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Sunday, March 14, 2004
Tech Summit 2004

Shown is the Ninja.  It is a small, wireless, color video surveillance camera.  You get everything you need for $80, FedEx shipping included.  Makes me wish I was still in MI making $800-$1000 week.  I sure would have bought this toy for the compound.  But hey, if you buy one, let me know how cool it is.

It was shown in a pop-under ad when I checked out the
MSNBC Tech Summit 2004 site and it's one of the first ads I've clicked on in months.  On Sunday, March 21st, at 8pm, MSNBC is going to air this special co-hosted by Phillip J. Fry's favorite internet sextoy, Lisa Ling.  Oh, wait.  That was Lucy Liu.

"From cell phones to automobiles, movie making to music sharing, a new digital revolution is upon us.  Technology once reserved for the science labs and "The Jetsons" has made its way to the rest of the world.  Now you get to see the latest gadgets, created by people who push the envelope everyday."

They will have an interesting array of segment guests: race car champion Mario Andretti, Dallas Maverick's owner Mark Cuban, Queer Eye guy Thom Felicia, and one-time presidential candidate Howard Dean's former campaign manager, Joe Trippi, who raised many millions of campaign dollars on the web.  BTW, Howard Dean would still appreciate your dough to pay his doughnut debt.  Think I'm kidding?  YCMTSU !!  But I've digressed into the fodder for another day, haven't I?

Back to the Tech Summit Special.  On the site, you'll see where they also ask for some before and after pix.  Heh.  I sent them the before and after "JfZ reloaded" images.  Now, I know you're going to tune in to MSNBC next Sunday at 8pm to see if they use it, right?  If that's not reason enough, there's always this: Lisa friggin' Ling.

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Saturday, March 13, 2004

Who calls him Scotty Queen?! Xavier, aka our-friend-Scott put up his vacation pix from his time down in Fort Myers visiting Melicious and the gang.

Believe it or not, I just listened to a
voicemail from Xavier this morning from a 1:00am call at the bar when they went out that weekend.  I did get to talk with him at some length before he went back to Detroit though.  We got to catch up on some old, but exciting news.  That was cool.  I really need to get a new cell phone battery so I can listen to my voicemail when it comes.  Argh!!

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