John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica

 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
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Sunday, February 08, 2004
Retardo Cat

Retardo Cat aka Scrappy-Doo
Since I was talking about Retardo Cat aka Scrappy Doo the other day, I thought I should put up his pic.  One of these days, I'll record this deaf cat's constant loud yowl and sequence into a techno MP3.  He falls somewhere in between NeCoRo Cat and the Code 16 cat.

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Saturday, February 07, 2004
Moving day v1.0

The wet bio-chemical chaos between my ears
The wet bio-chemical chaos between my ears has been moved over to Hygelic's kindly provided home on  The M link is fixed on the Grayspaces page, too.  Go buy some K-Y warming liquid and check that out.  I had to edit a bunch of existing web pages since Grayspaces was on my established left-side nav menu of so friggin' many pages.  ( wipes digital sweat from virtual brow )

Since I was already in notepad doing this screamingly tedious activity, I did a little re-organizing during moving day.  I've checked to see if most of the moving boxes are labelled correctly but if there are any broken links, let me know and I'll fix the URLs in v2.0 of the move. 

v2.0 involves FTPing the online backups of all the happy little blog entry grafix stored on over to (Dude where's my car? asian drive-thru lady voice: " AND THEN!? ") editting each and every fucking Thunderstorms blog entry to display the grafix from its new home so we won't see any annoying little boxes with missing file X's in them here.  Although, for some of you, it might be enlightening to see the ALTernative text I sarcastically put on all my web page grafix here for the benefit of those ADHD friends I have that spastically move their mouse all over my pages looking for such hidden treasures.

But for now (v1.0), I've glommed any graphic art under Morphine Dreams.

I also took the opportunity to put something up I've been fiddling with offline at home.  You've seen one of the java scripts already: FBI's most wanted.  The Lab is where I tinker.

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Friday, February 06, 2004
Happy 14,610th day!

Slippery Slope Ahead
It's just a slippery slope toward becoming worm food from here on out, folks.  I want to draw your attention to the statistical bell curve.  You'll notice in the above diagram, that I have been breathing the air of this dirty little mudball in space for 14,610 days now.  And before you even make a comment about it: 14,610 days equals 40 years times 365 days/year plus 10 extra days for 10 leap years.  I figure if I am off by a day, then it's only a margin of error of about seven thousandths of one percent -- a number so small that your bank savings account most likely earns that much interest on your money each day -- so you innately comprehend that must be a very small number.

There is some weird feeling about this whole situation in which I find myself growing deep inside my subconscious.  (Kindergarten Cop voice: "It's not a tumor")  I mean, really, what have I been doing with my 14,610 days roaming around in search of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

Well.  Hmmm.  Right.  I guess I'd have to say that I've been a few places, seen a few things, met a few people and done a few things.

I voluntarily joined the U.S. Army.  I went to work in camoflage everyday for what is now about a tenth of my life.  Besides working the green collar job, I've had fun working while wearing a blue collar, a white collar, and no collar at all.

I've been able to
ski in the Swiss alps,  eat space-cake in the original Amsterdam coffeeshop, and stare into the eyes of Da Vinci's Mona Lisa in the Louvre Museum in Paris.  I've seen the changing of the Buckingham Palace guard in London and a bull fight in Spain.   I've done blotter, moved the furniture against the walls and played hackey-sack in my hotel room in Zurich.  I've walked through the French Quarter in New Orleans with a drink in one hand and a cigar in the other.  I've gone backstage and been to private parties of rock stars.  I got my name put on the back of an album.  I've been on a Bahamas Carnival cruise with millionaires (and Taz!) for free.  I've dipped my now middle-aged ass into the warm embrace of Atlantic, Pacific, Caribbean, and Mediterranean waters.

Not only have I experienced being homeless, hungry, jobless and broke in the past, but also eaten in fine restaurants and raided the minibars of expensive hotels in a few dozen major cities around the world.

I've tried to learn to speak english, spanish, german and some italian, polish and russian.  Motivated to learn usually in the pursuit of some affection from women that I've known.  I have appreciated the company of many people from many places -- white, black, hispanic, asian, and mutts like me -- casually and intimately.  I've read or studied the teachings of the Talmud, New Testament, Book of Mormon, and the Quran.  I've learned about the beliefs of Born Agains, Seventh Day Adventists, Zen and Tibetan Buddhists and Hindus.  I've met some very interesting people.  Some are still my friends.
So, I thought about it for a few minutes today.  Overall, I have no regrets that I care to articulate and I'm generally grateful for the time I've already been given.  I'm not going to be unreasonable and expect another 14,610 days either.  I'm just going to do my best to be happy with the additional 24 hours I'm hoping to get if I wake up still breathing the air tomorrow.

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Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Mr. Dress-up glasses

A blind eye doesn't read the news  From sea to shining sea.  From the west coast to the east coast. From the left coast to the far right.

I normally roll my eyes when I hear neo-cons bitch about the federal court system.  The main reason for most of the yadda-yadda is the decisions that the ninth circuit federal court of appeals hands down.  If, for just a moment I play Mister Dress-up, put on some neo-con glasses and read the newspaper, I would probably bitch too.

Earlier this month, Born-Agains were whining because the San Francisco Chronicle reported a fired HP employee lost his appeal over anti-gay signs.  The court ruled the Idaho man wasn't a victim of religious discrimination.

Then, just the other day, the San Diego Union-Tribune reported the same court decided that a San Diego police officer who sold videos on the Internet of himself performing a sex act was engaging in protected speech and his wrongful termination suit should not have been dismissed.

Reading these stories with my HFD neo-con eyeglasses on, I can see why someone might bitch.  Personally, I'm a free speech Libertarian so anything that impedes me from telling you to go fuck yourself bothers me.

If the west coast is too liberal, then let's read what the federal court was busying itself with in Florida.  According to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, the 11th appeals court supports Florida's ban on gay adoptions.  The article doesn't go on to say that Jeb Bush couldn't be happier because his brother, George, got so screwed up when he was adopted by Mr. Barbara and George Bush Sr.

In the end, I think it all balances out.  It's like the tides in the oceans on either coast.

Monday, February 02, 2004
Super Breast XXXVIII

I've seen better tits on Chris Farley
Just when you thought it was safe to let your little kid watch the Superbowl, Janet Jackson exposes her breast during the halftime show.  This is definitely a sign of the apocalypse on a biblical scale.  Yeah, okay ...

You already know what I thought about the big Superbowl halftime show.  I didn't comment on the breast thang.  Do you want to know why?  It wasn't because I wasn't appalled by it.  It wasn't because I was too busy speed-dialing CBS, Viacom, MTV or the FCC over it.  I didn't comment on it because I didn't even friggin' see it!

Unless little Johnny had a live action freeze frame TiVo DVR, he probably missed it too.  And yet, all I heard about on the cable news shows was the talking head pundits yapping about their outrage while repeatedly showing the 23 milliseconds of blurry breast video over and over again.  They actually want the FCC to fine everyone involved.  Excuse me but I wouldn't have known about it at all had I not tuned into your un-rated cable news show and viewed the blurry version of Janet's tit.

Even if Little Johnny had taken his ritalin, stopped tormenting the family pet, and actually watched the halftime show full of crappy popstars singing hits from several years ago, is his innocent little mind forever tarnished now?

Concerned Parent: "Son, I really need to talk to you about what happened Sunday".

Little Johnny: "There are more friggin' erotic moments in the KJV bible than during Superbowl 38's halftime show, mommy".

Concerned Parent: "So you saw Janet Jackson.  I'm concerned".

Little Johnny: "She's a fat middle-aged woman, mom.  I would be more concerned if it was her brother, Michael, exposing himself if I were you".

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