John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica

 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
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Friday, January 09, 2004
Blog archives by topic ...

So here's the topic pull-down (slide-out) menu.  Selecting one of them will bip you over to another page, but with the topic name, like ycmtsu, where it says by topic now.  Then when you slide down the menu, it lists the actual blog entries' titles in reverse chronological order. 

Try it out.

Help me out, here.

Also, maybe you can figure out some better topic names or even some additional topics.  I had to start somewhere.  Again, I forgot how tedious this all can be. 

You can always go to the main page and easily do a search.  If you just wanted to search Thunderstorms for a term like ... handy-fucking-dandy ... you could.  Or you could look it up in the Thunderstorms glossary.

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Thursday, January 08, 2004
Browse your life away

I wish I was as organized as Young Pup.  Then again, I'm doing the best I can with free resources.  If I had the cash, I'd register a domain and do this stuff up right.

Since I'm stuck in the house bouncing around aimlessly with my hfd walker, I thought I should do what I friggin' wrote on my white board before Thanksgiving, "Learn java before January 1st".  The knee surgery gave me some excuse for procrastination, but now I am trying.

The easiest way for me to learn things is using other people's examples.  Back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth freely, much of Imajica BBS was created from using other cool bulletin board's features and modifying them for my own purposes.

I stumbled upon Young Pup's site and it's been very helpful so far.  I downloaded his ypSlideOutMenus and played around with them.

Here's a way (in my mind) to more easily browse this blog's archives.

I forgot how tedious it all can be.

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Wednesday, January 07, 2004
Blue Screen of Death

This morning when I sat down to work on the PC, instead of my user logon screen, I found the Blue Screen of Death (BSoD).  We've all seen it.  It's Bill Gates' incidious way of secretly controlling the lives of countless millions and reminding us all that we have absolutely no control of our own destiny.  It's a little wake-up call that Bill Gates is indeed the one in charge of the coming of the apocalypse.  He rows the boat of the damned down the river Styx.  It's fatal error #666.

No matter what I tried to do, the operating system would not load.  Instead I got one of the most frightening messages from the underworld of startup screens -- " ... could not load.  The following file is missing or corrupt.  C: WINDOWS SYSTEM32 CONFIG".   Aw shit!  Fuck me runnin'!

Since I can not run anywhere, any time soon because I'm still forced to hobble about the house aimlessly with my handy-fucking-dandy walker, the first thing I did was to call into the other room to High Priestess, who had just been online minutes earlier.  She had the night off and had headed toward the bedroom to search out that illusive commodity in our house called sleep.  Trying not to show any fear, panic or anger, I nevertheless asked, "Honey, what were you doing online earlier"?

High Priestess hadn't installed anything new or even opened any email attachments.  Nothing spectacular or telling there.  What to do, what to do?  It was very early in the morning or late at night, depending upon your perspective.  It was nonetheless before dawn.

I broke down and called the DELL tech support number.  A nice woman in central India finally answered and I explained my problem.  After using the re-install CD to boot up and about an hour of CHKDSK /R running,  my performance in "Meet Bill Gates" was finally over.

So, here's the moral of the story:  Stop procrastinating and make back ups of your files.

Oh yeah, baby.  There's nothing like a close call to motivate one to action.  I've seen a vision of the end of the world prophesied of in Revelations and had an epiphany.  Even though I had been awake for almost 20 hours, I spent about 6 more hours organizing my files and burning CD-Rs today.

Really, all I did was envision the house engulfed in flames and decided what I would run in there to save from destruction.  After people and pets, most victims say one irreplaceable thing is their photographs.  I have hundreds of digital pix on the hard drive that almost became toast.

I organized and tightly packed seven CD-Rs with over nine thousand unique and irreplaceable files.  And before you even think it -- no, it wasn't all porn.

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Tuesday, January 06, 2004
Mondo Melicious and JfZ web litter

Remember my 420 Thanksgiving with the Osbournes anecdote, Mel?

Very early this morning, I thought up the term "web litter" and appropriately, I applied it to myself.  Today, I did a Google search of my long-used alias, John Furie Zacharias.  I was shocked and awed to find that about a quarter of the search results Google displayed are actually my own, spread over nearly a dozen domains and ironically, some are the top search results above any friggin' reference to Clive Barker's novel.  The number one search result was for this very blog, Thunderstorms in the Imajica.  Heh. Now, that just rocks.

Searching for my nickname wasn't the original reason I went to Google.  When I get extremely bored and I have way too much time on my hands, which has been the norm for me lately, I amuse myself by plugging in friends' names and seeing just what will spew forth from the bowels of the web like some high speed green viscous vomit on a catholic priest's face.

Before I could wipe the acidic bile from my own eyes, I found a very bizarre female world called "Melicious".  Now, I've been told that many people who read my blog entries rarely follow the handy-fucking-dandy links that I painstakingly MacGyver into them.  But sometimes, if you don't friggin' follow the links, you'll never get the punchline.  You'll just sit there, dumbfounded, void of any sense of humor, with sunken, pitifully blank uncomprehending eyes and most typically drooling on your keyboard, as you assuredly are doing right now.

Here are a half-dozen chicks named Melicious.  See if you can discern any similarities with the one we lovingly call our own.  Wipe the spittle from your chin and explore these Melicious sites!  As an incentive, you may discover that most of them are hotties in their own right.

Mondo Melicious from west to east:
1.  Hollywood radio personality
2.  West coast hip-hop DJ
3.  Texas roller derby chic and writer
4.  British wrestling manager
5.  Aussie photographer and FFFreak

Finally, I had to add this New Jersey teenager to this bacchanal because she owns and uses It's nicely designed, but may likely be a neglected web site.  Somewhere in her about me section, she says, "I am a proud fat chick who loves Sublime and any Classic Rock".  Kinda funny, eh?  Maybe she just might hand over her domain name for a super-sized gift certificate for Omaha Steaks.  Anyway, let's just hope she'll mature into a woman worthy of the name Melicious.  Werd.

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Monday, January 05, 2004
Imajica Fast Forward File v.03

Mom's very last B-day: Carrot cake cuz her nick was Bunny

I got this sporkful of wisdom forwarded to me for the New Year.  I hate forwarded emails.  This one just made me friggin' sad.

IF3 v.03


To realize the value of a sister:
Ask someone who doesn't have one.

To realize the value of ten years:
Ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.

To realize the value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize the value of one month:
Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize the value of one minute:
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one-second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident...

To realize the value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one.


Happy birthday, Mom ... I miss your no-bullshit common sense and your sarcastic humor.

Read past IF>  v.02  v.01

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