John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica



 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
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Wednesday, December 01, 2004
YCMTSU: Popularity and Promotion


Get Some Effin' Gear

I am only a tiny mite scurrying about my frantic business on a speck of dust floating around within the vast blogosphere.  I know this.  Like you, my interests and events in my life are trivial in comparison with the big people acting within the big picture.

We are not Matt Drudge, Andrew Sullivan, Ana Marie Cox, or my personal blog superhero, Warren Ellis.

If you were to compare the blogosphere to the planet Earth, bloggers with their own domain names would be the industrialized nations.  People like you and I, using the free and paid services of blog providers are in the third world developing nations.

Whether you use any number of blog services which I am will not name, link, or promote because I have become a loyal user of blogdrive, you are still blogging about your life within the confines of your own self-contructed straw-and-spit hut on the undiscovered savannah.  Look outside your little hut and you'll see a landscape full of blog creatures worthy of a Jurassic Park sequel stomping around.

I have some interesting YCMTSU news: The #1 most looked-up word on the Miriam-Webster online dictionary in 2004 was the word BLOG.  While it may seem obvious that I never seem to use a spell-checker before publishing my blog entries, I do sometimes check a dictionary or a thesaurus since writing wasn't included at the International Masonry Institute or in the U.S Army.

Even so, since blogs are now making their existance known in the American Mind and elsewhere, there is some small hope that your thoughts, your words or your blog entries will touch someone else.  Blogdrive gives you a little stone arrowhead and some flint -- it's up to you to start a bonfire.

I do know how fun it is to be noticed.  I've often told you that Thunderstorms in the Imajica is simply my online and verbose bookmarks/favorites file that I let you read.  Besides being a psychopathic ranter at times, I'm a list maker, too.  I was honored to be listed during the election season as a Political Blog of Note.  And now, I see how tickled some people have become when blogdrive listed some of these blogs on the recent "Who's yer Daddy" home poll page.

While it wasn't my intention to get any personal credit or blame for the recent home poll page at all -- I was just being my silly, helpful self -- it is fun to be noticed, even as a small fish in the ever-developing blogdrive pond.  I researched twice as many blogdrive blogs that I ultimately listed and I visually scanned so many blogs and their entries that it did make me seriously dizzy towards the end of it.  Nonetheless, I am honestly more personally gratified that these other tireless blogdrivers got listed and promoted.

Are you brave enough or proud enough to allow your neighbors or co-workers to know about your blogging and your silly little blog?

If you are, I've just designed some nifty gear (pronounced clothing) for you today.  As part of the YCMTSU line of gear you can show your Blogger College school pride, even if you are self-taught blogger like I am.  You can customize the apparel design with your blogdrive address or blog name, if you are really brave or proud of your own blog.

Go aheadGet some effin' gear.







[Headphones] :: BaD DoG Karaoke v1.0 - JfZ


Tuesday, November 30, 2004
TAG board archive - November 2004


Everyone!  Into the pool!!
So ... why?  Well, I go through the TAG board periodically (or when asked) and delete entries.  Mainly I delete your entries because it reloads the page periodically or when you add a new entry for chatting and when it gets too large, it takes up bandwidth loading constantly.  My general rule was this: if you put an annoying little smilie emoticon on the TAG, that entry was the first to go when I cleaned house.

The second rule: if the entry was older.  But the second rule bummed me out because I hate to throw away memories, so, some entries were deemed to be classics and had to be preserved (like Hygelic reading my blog in the bathroom on his cell phone).

Then the first and second rules unfortunately clashed when it came to old school phreeks who might put an ascii emoticon at the end of their sentence, like Skennedy (et al).  These people were violating my first unstated rule through no fault of their own, and, because the programmers of the TAG board must have thought to themselves, "how handy-fucking-dandy would it be if we just translated every ascii emoticon to a different happy little yellow face?"  So, they dropped another few hits of Exstacy, patted each other on the back and went back to coding the TAG board.

So, whether it is a good thing or a bad thing -- I've decided to archive the TAG board here for all to see -- and still be able to delete older entries (and keep the TAG.html small) with a clear conscience.  I normally archive halfway through the month.

Read 2004 Archive: [October][September][August][July][Prior to July 2004]

E » thanks for putting my blog link in here...
E » nice blog... thank you for visiting mine...
katie » hey
J f Z » You are special, Sare. I got a memo on that.
SareBabe » I feel special
SareBabe » hello back
ElvenSarah » JFZ, Hello!
dennis » Hello Friend - I thought you were kidding re: the "executive order" 'til I hit the link. My God!! Excellent blog today - again! Did you see the dvd "Broken Glass" I believe it was - re: on-line mag
bee » awesomeness.. love da blog, love da articles!!
Helleena » Hey thanks for listening to me rant tonight it really helped.
Halcyon » <--- the pre pimpin should have prepared you
>slave< » i didnt mean you, silly!
J f Z » Wow, thanks. That's one of the most generous comments anyone has ever left. At the same time, I'd hope Helpee and CBG have more sense than to do something foolish like that.
Nilla Wafer » this blog should be on the favorites list
J f Z » Dang it. Did I miss Thanksgiving?
jan » hope yr holiday was great
BrokenChaos » Hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving. Have a great weekend!
wailfulrhyme » hope you had a nice thanksgiving!
Brandon Starr » Happy Thanksgiving, my Floridian friend. Very rainy here (WA/OR) today; I hear most of the East Coast has some bad weather coming.
J f Z » Yes. Wacky goings-on abound, Brandon.
J f Z » Kisses: I was thinking one might simply leave their choice in a comment.
Brandon Starr » Well, Florida HAS been ground zero for wacky goings-on since at least November 2000.
waterkisses » I'm dumb..how to vote for phases's hair? Where to click?
Ariana » lol. "I don't know the word 'Jesus'"
J f Z thinks aloud » <- Nah. I've played this game before. I have my towel.
Ariana » Hey J f Z, thought I'd stop by and say hi! How ya feelin today? Hopefully not too hungover
SareBabe » fun entry on phases...
Kristi » Yes he was Jake. He was from Israel, but don't know what happened after that.
J f Z » Wasn't Cougar also aka Jake? I think he wanted to join the Israeli Defense Forces back in the d-a-y because he and his family were from Israel.
Kristi » Me too.... I graduated pre 1995.... about 10 yrs earlier. lol I haven't seen Xavier or Cougar in years. lol I miss the bonfire days.
J f Z » Yeah, but look at our Xavier now. *tear* I'm so proud of him
melicious (c) » <thinks back to the BBS days> i think we were two of the five people who graduated high school pre-1995
J f Z » A person could use the Listen to the PiG design, but customize it with their own words, for example. Zazzle is an interesting site.
J f Z » Yeah, there's a royalty or commission paid if someone uses one of your designs or buys apparel.
wailfulrhyme » do you actually make money when someone buys one of your zazzle shirts?
J f Z » When I get the house back in order and can work on that song, I'm going to finish up with that Black Hawk Down vibe.
Brandon Starr » It's like I told Elven Sarah the other day...between the blog name and the prominent picture of Arwen, I've started to assume she looks elven.
Kristi » Boo
wailfulrhyme » Allah's Helicopter was alright... At first it reminded me of this show that's always on Wednesday evenings on community radio over here. hehe.
J f Z » I just forgot how old your were ... sometimes when you simply peer into people's thoughts, you assume an equality there. It's that 'BBSes to Blogs' syndrome.
wailfulrhyme » how old are you anyways and how old did you think i was?
Lyly » Hi
J f Z » I just tried to delete your duplicate tag board submission via my management function, and it killed both of them. I feel so Republican now. I need a shower.
J f Z » BD's tag board dB has been a little flaky lately, but the similies are another matter. Read my intro to the [archives] to know about the friggin' emoticons.
dennis » Hey, where did that face come from? I didn't put it there - honest!!
meliciraptor » Are you there or what??
J f Z » Thanks. I know I definitely need to clean my monitor more often.
dennis » I just found an excellent monitor cleaner/brush.
wailfulrhyme » sorry... i try not to use the smilies very often.
wailfulrhyme » meanwhile the Canadian dollar has been going up!
wailfulrhyme » did you hear about congress raising the national debt limit from 800 billion to 8.2 trillion? that means each citizen has a $25 000 share of the national debt....
Brandon Starr » I saw it. Thank you for it.
J f Z » I actually just finished writing a long comment on that entry, Brandon. For some reason, it wasn't showing up though. Craptastic!
Brandon Starr » I put up my solutions for "Happy Republican" on my blog. I'd be interested in hearing from Duke, too. Or people who have tended to agree with me recently (but won't when they see all my positions).
J f Z » Duke: I should make you the lead beta-listener, eh? Heh. Feel free to keep copies of those MP3s before they get deleted off of the file server.
J f Z » Yes, yes they do, starr. Heh.
starr69 » hey thanks for coming by =) Mel's RULE hahaha ;P
Brandon Starr » If JC wins, I think Karl Rove will get a raise in his pants, yes. And yes, the more moderate cabinet members do seem to be leaving like rats from a sinking ship.
ElvenSarah » Elven Sarah? Oh, Evil Stevie. *pouts*
Duke » Hey, yea, I know you didn't devote an entry to ES:Wonders but I saw it in the list in "Ear Candy in the Imajica Matrix" so I listened. I HAVE listened to ALL the songs you've posted ya know!
J f Z thinks aloud » <= "After day of cabinet resignations, many fear a shift to the right" ... Duh. No shit?
J f Z » Brandon: If JC wins, do you think he'll give Karl Rove a raise?
Brandon Starr » Hey, JfZ, two hours ago, story posted: Time debating who should be its Person of the Year. And the frontrunners are....(blearph!)
Kristi » I remember Pandora, wink wink
J f Z thinks aloud » <= I wonder who will walk Spotty, the Homeland Security Mascot, now.
melicious (c) » So... Condy is stepping up so Powell can step down and wait in the wings to step up when Cheney to announce HIS retirement?
robert »
robert » Hey. going for a walk now. Phone is low battery but should work for a bit. Call me or I'll try you . I't s9:10
J f Z » Thanks, Mel ... even if I do suck.
J f Z thinks aloud » <- Remember when politics just seemed to suck?
melicious (c) » i agree, ES is very cool. vaguely reminiscent of Roger Waters album about that kid/robot thing... sweet.
J f Z » BD is working under the hood. The TAG board may be a little flaky until BD finishes banging on the engine with their big effin' wrench.
J f Z » Well, thanks, Duke. I hadn't really told anyone about that one yet. ES_Activate! is a little more upbeat than ES_Wonders, Heh.
Duke » gotta say, Evil Stevie: Wonders is your best one yet, pretty cool, the overdrive in the track is reminiscent of Daft Punk
starr69 » bloghoppin! =) awesome place!!
Pandora » *streaks by* Hey sexy
J f Z » LOL Wail. We did blog the same thing, didn't we?
J f Z » Thanks berry. Stop in anytime.
wailfulrhyme » damn, you posted the same thing as me.
junkodaddy » ooooh iii hate thattttt commmpleeeteellyyyy stupiddd log in tthinggggg grrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
berry » nice blog. very organized and clean. easy to read. maybe ill stop by again sometime
princessdeirdre » With a name like 'junkodaddy' who wouldn't think he's smarter?
J f Z » Boy, that's a friggin' relief. Now I can go on vacation.
junkodaddy » hello, i'm junkodaddy and i'm better and smarter than you all
SSunsprite » thank you
wailfulrhyme » *lick*
wailfulrhyme » hey... thanks J f Z. i hope everything is working out in your neck of the woods! talk to you soon hopefully.
ham » thanks for d info
jan » Not yet
J f Z » Jan, did you ever see my Mikey photo on Dennis' Sandbox page?
jan » Mokey loves his grooming still
Ariana » I found that on Jezebel's blog. http://misslefey.blogdrive.com/
J f Z thinks aloud » <- Blogger gets a visit from the Mandate Monkey's MIB. (found on Ariana's blog)
J f Z » Hi Kristi Fem. It must be Ohio week, eh?
Kristi » Hello everyone, just stopping by to say boo.
J f Z » Hey. Check out Web-Litter.
Duke » It wouldn't be me if there wasn't a sense of Jim Carrey tone in my voice...heh
J f Z » I sense a Jim Carrey tone in your voice ... I meant to say: Hey Duke! Why not be the first kid on your block to use my new [last ten] link ... it's so cool! You're gonna love it!
Duke » Alrighty then...
J f Z » Duke: It's dialup friendly and I personally don't like web pages that are 30-40 PGDNs long, even if it's text. Use the [last ten] link if you don't like the next page link.
wailfulrhyme » i'm slowly recooperating (sp?) from the election results. hopefully you're doing alright over there.
Duke » So what's with the two entries per page? I personally find that a bit annoying as I like to go back to entries I've commented on and it makes it a bit tedious, but then that's just me.
Brandon Starr » I had three times as many clicks on my anti-Bush t-shirt FindWhat ad as usual on November 3rd. Sold a "kids read more" shirt, too.
Ariana » Thanks, man... feelin much better today. I like your blog
Toulon »
J f Z » Heh. Thanks Dennis. Keep safe in that wacky burg. I'm delighted to have heard from you and know that you're still kickin and bitchin. Tzchuss.
dennis » Bye for now. I've got 1200 prayers to say. Love ya JfZ - hang in there. Ohhhhhmmmmm..........
dennis » We have signs and parades in this little as they go off - and are brought back on guerneys - some can raise their head to see our respect - not for the cause - for the Kid!! Yrs ago, 2 were mine....
J f Z » That's why I tried to express (yet again) my desire for ppl not to confuse politix with patriotism - and anti-war with supporting our troops. Some PPL can't seperate those things.
dennis » I'm GLAd I'm an American, but not proud at this point. Bush's drug makers took away my $15 month medicine - now almost $80. That's my president and HIS health plan......
dennis » I have a neighbor kid here who is back - in several pieces - sewn together incompletely for a lifetime. We have a field of 1200 flags near his house. 7 times that in wounded. Who listens?
J f Z » The rub is that somewhere in the victimhood pysche of BACs in the U.S, they don't worry about 'apocalypse'. They're are saved. They welcome it. They voted for it.
dennis » I would like to think that ben Laden told us something honest re: "got out" and we'll leave you alone. I think he's scared what is set in motion - apocalyptic stuff!
J f Z » I sincerely hope both sides can agree to the desire to bring our people home soon, and in one piece, before it lingers to become the PalestNam of history.
dennis » OOOOOOmmmmmmhhhhh! Oh shit!!! (one of the 100,000 we've already sent to paradise.) God forgive us!
dennis » "zen", like Tao - is seeing How It IS, and accepting that it is not how I WANT it. That is my "zen" for the NOW. As you said in early blog - accept the "four more years of insanity" Huuummmmmmm!
J f Z » I'm so happy to hear from you, Dennis. No links to provide in my 'zen apathy' entry. Hmmm.
dennis » 23 yrs off weed - but I could use a good hallucination now - for example - a competent government. Wow! That would be a first. Now, the illusion is too much like perdition. Scary Wow!, eh?
Amirul B » Hi GREAT blog!
melicious (c) » Well i finally made a blog. Click on my name to see it. And PLEASE don't be bitchy I didn't call you to tell you the news, I didn't call ANYONE!! LOL Love you.
J f Z » Sorry. I was waiting for the speeches this PM. John Kerry & Karl Rove were very thoughtful. Plus, I was helping someone with a brand spanking new blog. I'll BBL tonight.
J f Z » Heh. That's so funny, Brandon. I actually told someone today that I hadn't made alot of Zazzle shirts because they'd be stale too soon. Now I can get creative!
Duke » I'd gloat but that wouldn't be prudent...heh
Brandon Starr » I'm bummed out, but at least I won't have to take all my anti-Bush shirts off of Zazzle.
tazz » BUSH WON!!!!
jive » yeah I seem to be the center of all election problems..I use to live in fla and now in ohio
Duke » Hey JfZ...do you not reply to comments on your entries anymore?
wailfulrhyme » Yup, unfortunately PDM's are sold in Canada as well. The perpetrators were quite close to winning the majority of seats in our parliament as well.
J f Z thinks aloud » <-- Electoral Vote web page link
Doc' » Great pic' !
citizendude » Hang ten, mates and I'll see you chaps around.
citizendude » It's going to feel sort of strange heading back down to FL . There's some messed irony in this somewhere
citizendude » Love of a good woman and utter hatred of NYC makes a man do strange things. Like moving to Florida. I actually back in NYC for a few days (and it is the only way I can vote since I'm registered in NY)
citizendude » Hullo mate, just visiting my old blog haunts. How are you holding up, JFZ? Did my civics today and hop to see FNC wankers in tears tomorrow. No longer in NYC, moved up to Tampa, FL.
Brandon Starr » I've voted. Now to sit back and wait for the results to roll in...
melicious (c) » Wink, smile, whatever it takes. I need a stiff one before I head down to the polls today... hmmm wait, stiff one, maybe i'll pass on that drink <weg>
Kristi » Hey, mel, just give me a wink and a smile, and I'll get you one. lol
~justme~ » "I'm smoking weed and braiding my life partner's dreadlocks." what a kawinky dink! I'm doing just the same, except he's bald..and "he" is actually my kitty cat.
Brandon Starr » #1 reason to vote for Kerry over Bush is up. Is it Bush's lack of ethics? His abuse of power? Nope, it's....
tazz » vote BUSH
Duke » Melicious! Too busy to stop by my site eh? *holds head in hands and sobs uncontrollably*
ham » like the images
Kerry » So how'd ya'll like my <cough> "bin Laden" video??? Pretty convincing, huh? Heh heh...
melicious » <squeezes in the jammed doorway and bellies up to the bar> yesh! what's a girl gotta do to get drink around here...
J f Z » Yes, please. Back to Crawford, TX. The trick is making him stay there.
Kerry » GO BUSH
J f Z » I better archive this sucker today. No really.
J f Z thinks aloud » clearly off his meds ...
J f Z thinks aloud » Tree House Zero link
J f Z » I appreciate your tenacity, Brandon.

[^ TOP ^]







[Headphones] :: BaD DoG Karaoke v1.0 - JfZ

Monday, November 29, 2004
Finding God on Blogdrive


 Try not to hook this shot, Jesus

It must be a God thang.  Almost all bloggers talk about their own religious beliefs or the beliefs of the people with whom they interact personally, publicly or in their society.

The truly omnipotent ones at blogdrive main, along with some of their snarkiest minions, put up a new home poll today.  Blogdrivers can vote for their favorite deity right now.  Even if you are your own daddy or don't believe in a daddy, go represent and give holy, pagan, or no props in the new blogdrive main home poll, Who's yer Daddy?

A while ago, I decided to adopt a fictitious and illegitimate daddy to emulate -- radio and TV personality, Don Imus.  I chose him because he's about the right age, he spent his youth drunk and stoned, and he probably wouldn't remember if he had bumped uglies with my mom at some point.  Besides, Howard Stern is too young, too tall, and too friggin' ugly.  While I never met my own mortal daddy and only heard various rumors about his life, blogdrivers talk about their own immortal daddy all the time.

Who are these blogdrivers and who is their daddy?  While this list can not be all inclusive because I lack omnipotence, they are the chosen ones.  Well, I looked at them today, anyway.


Buddhist blogs
answertolife42
buddhasez
beadgirl
runbuddharun
buddha


Christian blogs
barque
chaste
god-dependent
jsl4jc
sarebabe
strengthandhonor
buglady
deepshintata
gracetoday
missions
savedbygrace
thedeborahcompany
cfsmkdjarticles
dukesville
ilovejesus
russellheil
seminarychik


Hindu blogs
bharani
seagull
ravikumar
thelosthighway
saiavatar
zenkatha


Muslim blogs
asylumseeker
impian1islam
islam4ever
axe10
islaam
iqbalrofiq
durra
isosceles
muttaqoon


None/Atheist blogs
brandonstarr elvensarah kamix


Pagan/Other blogs
derangedpaganangel jagged misslefey


Parody blogs
askjesus cruci-fiction


Some people think it is interesting that there are so many different dieties that all of us pathetic little butt monkeys on this spinning ball of mud, called Earth, have from which to choose our own daddy.  Other people think it is totally ridiculous.

One half of the ridiculous camp thinks this way because they have found their own one true God, above all other gods.  The other half of the ridiculous camp doesn't believe in any god, but does believe that the first half of the ridiculous camp should just fight it out amongst themselves on a Who's yer Daddy episode of the Jerry Springer show.

Throw a folding chair, not a hand grenade.  Okay, Sparky?

If you know of a blogdriver that should be listed here, leave a comment.  There are more Christian blogs listed than the other ones simply because English is my primary language.  Likewise, if you don't know who your daddy is, but you think you have an idea of who could be the Anti-Christ, let me know.






[Headphones] :: Allah's Helicopter (beta) - JfZ



Friday, November 26, 2004
Conspiracy Theory: Development Fund for Iraq


Conspiracy Theory in the Imajica

Conspiracy Theory in the Imajica Menu
[ Intro ]   [ Contents ]   [ Submit Your Theory ]   [ Resource List ]


Babylonian Slush Fund
Billions of dollars of your U.S. federal tax payments are missing and continue to remain totally unaccounted for in the ever-expanding financial blackhole called the Development Fund for Iraq (DFI).

Under the authority of U.S. President George W. Bush with his May 22nd, 2003 Executive Order, Iraqi Oil money was deemed so important as to declare a national emergency:

"I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, find that the threat of attachment or other judicial process against the Development Fund for Iraq, Iraqi petroleum and petroleum products, and interests therein, and proceeds, obligations, or any financial instruments of any nature whatsoever arising from or related to the sale or marketing thereof, and interests therein, obstructs the orderly reconstruction of Iraq, the restoration and maintenance of peace and security in the country, and the development of political, administrative, and economic institutions in Iraq. This situation constitutes an unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security and foreign policy of the United States and I hereby declare a national emergency to deal with that threat."

In July 2004, the UK-based NGO, Christian Aid, with their people on the ground in Iraq, politely reported that Bush's Coalition Provisional Authority (CPA) was more or less playing Three Card Monty with DFI funds as they handed over responsibility (and culpability) to the Interim Government of Iraq, headed by Bush-puppet Ayad Allawi.

At the time of blogging about the Christian Aid report, however, I was more concerned that Red State America was simply going to overlook this mismanagement, corruption, and outright theft of billions of dollars and simply vote for their Friend-in-Jesus in the Whitehouse and his administration's cronies for four more years.  So, my tone in that entry was a pre-election political rant.

While the Will U.S. Christians overlook obvious Bush sins? entry generated a fair number of passionate comments, the heart of the matter was completely overlooked and ignored, indeed.  Oftentimes, people react more strongly to some graphic image I create associated with an entry more than the words I actually use, unless I pull out the linguistic two-by-four and start swinging wildly. 

Sometimes, I honestly think it requires that I spray paint the word dumbfuck in bright red letters onto the end of that Billy Jack stick and try to hit people hard enough with it so as to transfer the friggin' paint to their foreheads.  Bush has changed some of the names of his cabinet to protect the guilty and shift responsibility, but the buck should still ultimately stop at the top for once in his life, don't you think?

When all of this corruption was taking place, what was the Administration's response?  Get Karl Rove on the phone with FOX news and remind them if their news organization was to run any stories with the words, "oil, money, and Iraq" in the same sentence, they should point out there was an investigation into the post Gulf War Oil for Food program and that U.S. forces found Saddam Hussein in a spiderhole with a briefcase full of cash.  Oh, and move any investigative journalist's spotlight onto the United Nations, itself, and that pesky Kofi Annan.  Nobody in Red State America trusts those bastards, anyway.

Why not?  If flooding the American Mind with talk of the Vietnam War works to defeat your political opponent and win an election, surely talking about the more recent past will deflect any culpability from the Bush administration.  Not everyone is so easily distracted.

You see, even with George W. Bush's self-proclaimed mandate, there are still some checks and balances left in our U.S. federal government, despite the evangelical work of the Monkey Emperor's Perpetual Delusion Machine.  You can't easily dismiss this whole thing as solely a politically partisan attack or post-election sour grapes.  The House of Representative's Committee on Government Reform has been looking into this whole Iraq money mess since 2003.

The same day Bush signed his 22 May 2003 Executive Order, the United Nations Security Council passed resolution 1483.  UNSCR 1483 set up the International Advisory and Monitoring Board (IAMB) for the DFI.  The IAMB was to oversee the CPA use of the DFI, as well as any remaining funds left in the Oil for Food program.

Before sovereignty was passed along to the Interim Government of Iraq from the CPA on 30 June 2004, UNSCR 1546 mandated that the IAMB remains as the audit oversight body for the DFI.  As Christian Aid reported, the CPA dumped $20 Billion dollars before handing over the reigns to the Allawi government.  The IAMB hired the international auditing firm KMPG to audit the DFI activity.

On 14 October 2004, the IAMB press release announced KMPG had completed their initial audit of the DFI, only covering the six month period prior to the dissolution of the CPA.  One guess what they found -- hundreds of cases where millions of dollars are unaccounted for and missing.

The House of Representative's Committee on Government Reform released a small fact sheet on the full IAMB audit report entitled, "International Auditors Find Serious Problems with Bush Administration’s Management of Iraqi Funds."  The KPMG audit report, entitled Development Fund for Iraq: Report of Factual Findings in Connection with Disbursements, finds serious problems with the Administration’s management of Iraqi funds.

According to the Government Reform Committee, these problems involved hundreds of millions of dollars, numerous sole source contracts, missing and nonexistent contract files, and continuing investigations into major irregularities. They involve programs administered by the Coalition Provisional Authority, Iraqi ministries, the Kurdish Regional Government, and Iraqi provincial governments.  Here are just two of my favorite bullet points:
We found 37 cases where contracting files could not be located ($185,039,313). (p.18)

We found 52 cases where goods received notes or other supporting documentation were not on file ($97,979,888). (p. 19)
So, that's the just IAMB audit. I haven't even mentioned the ever-growing hairball named Halliburton.  The 10 November letter from the Government Reform Committee points to State and Defense Department emails and memoranda, and names some names.  It's also an interesting read.

Your comments are encouraged on this growing DFI scandal.







[Headphones] :: Allah's Helicopter (beta) - JfZ



Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Swamp Gas v. 001


Welcome to Swamp Gas in the Imajica.  Similar to the You Can't Make This Shit Up (YCMTSU) section, Swamp Gas will focus solely on news and items of interest in the sunshine state of Florida.

They say, "All the nuts in America roll downhill to Florida," so let's just see how true that phrase really is.

Click on the Swamp Gas logo for the smelly menu.

Swamp Gas v. 001

BOCA RATON

Given the reaction, you'd think friggin' Godzilla was causing havoc around Boca Raton.  According to the Boca Beacon, there are just too many lizards roaming the island of Boca Grande.  It's been Monster Island for many years according to some local residents expressing their anger and dismay over the iguana problem at the local community meeting.

Lee county animal services "handles cats and dogs and doesn't do exotics," Scott Trebatoski, director of Lee County Animal Services, reminded residents during the recent meeting.  Lulu could not be reached for a comment on this story.


LADY LAKE

It's official.  Kathy Bates has left the tree house.  In a waddling swarm of helpful estrogen, things were boxed up and removed.  As DWStumps might appreciate, the ice cube trays are still all present and accounted for, and even better, no DNA was removed and allowed to spawn elsewhere.

The toilet seat will now remain in the vertical and upright position.  Unfortunately, there will be no more updations on the Broken Kitty in the Imajica.  As inevitable surprises rate, this game has been played many times in the past.  I have my towel.


CEDAR KEY

Not quite related to the above story, but no one likes to eat bad clams.  The recent hurricanes in Florida did cause some damage to the clam harvest, according to Jim Hoy of the Cedar Key News.  Hoy reports further on the damage:
Cedar Key had little damage overall from recent hurricanes Charlie, Frances and Ivan.  However, storm damage to our clam crop is not yet fully known according to University of Florida Extension Mariculturist Leslie Sturmer.

Fortunately, a majority of the Levy County clammers have joined the Federal Risk Management Agency insurance program and are eligible for payments for their losses.
Your federal tax dollars hard at work.  Better put some Tabasco sauce on the next thick load of slime you slide down the back of your throat because even though it may be an evil clam -- you paid for it -- twice.








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