John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica



 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
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JfZ making a mess of the web
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Friday, October 31, 2003
Shout-out for TOP



One of my neighbors just showed up last week.  My new nickname for him is TOP.  He was an
army lifer.  30 years or whatever.  He likes when I call him TOP because only someone who was an army first-sargeant or command-sargeant-major would turn around when someone yelled " Hey, TOP!! ".  CSM is the TOP of the army's NCO ranks, just in case you needed to know that to win a piece of pie during your next Trivial Pursuit game.

He's the president of our little home owner's association.  He pisses me off to no end because when he leaves his home in the morning, his dog fuckin' HOWLS at the top of his little canine lungs until TOP comes home.  I piss TOP off because I play HIP/HOP RAP music and the bass beat hurts his brain, I guess.  So, that's nice.

I burned TOP a Glenn Miller CD and burned his Loius Armstrong and Tony Bennet CDs this past weekend.  I make friends with the Q-tips here by giving them music from the days of their youths.  And. And. And, I had to tell TOP what the rules were.

You aren't allowed to bitch about my music because I play Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin and Glenn Miller and Charlie Parker just as often down at the pool and just as loud as I do Eminem, Kid Rock or Ted Nugent.

 


Thursday, October 30, 2003
Banana Splits


double-entendre'

 So anyway, I burned a mix CD for my little apple-berry-redneck girlfriend this past weekend. Here's the playlist for the Banana Split Mix:

bad-dog's banana split mix
korben dallas - (5th element soundtrack)Eric Serra
http://www.filmtracks.com/titles/fifth_element.html
lose yourself - Eminem
http://www.8-mile.com/
party up (up in here) (Gone in 60 seconds soundtrack) - DMX lyrics
http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/gonein60seconds/partyupupinhere.htm
stacy's mom - Fountains of Wayne
http://www.fountainsofwayne.com/
young at heart - Frank Sinatra
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000069/

 


Thursday, October 23, 2003
Bill Gates is a digital crack dealer




It's after 4:00am and I can't sleep. If I add up all the hours that I have sat bleary-eyed and exhausted in front of this damn monitor, or one just like it, I could have gestated in a elephant's womb, been dropped unceremoniously onto the dusty savannah in a pile of goo and joined the roaming herd of big game.

Part of my problem with insomnia is Bill Gates.  Why did he factory-load Solitaire into every one of his MS WinX OS's since day one?  Is he a digital crack dealer?  I've clicked away hours of my life playing Spider solitaire. 

It's a conspiracy reaching into the highest levels of government, crooked politicians, industrialists and so-called philanthropists.  I mean, they give little innocent school children free PCs at our public schools to expose them and get them hooked on Solitaire at such a vulnerable and tender age.

The Federal Trade Commision doesn't even know half of the truth.  Or more likely, they are part of the cover up of the true evil -- Solitaire.


Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Bowling for Columbine


Michael Moore

Michael Moore is one of those people that will spark up an opinion from just about anyone upon the mentioning of his name.  Since 1989 with Roger and Me, he has grown himself a reputation for controversy.  To me, Michael Moore's got the rep that Oliver Stone once had if only Stone had tried to interject some Monty Python sarcasm into a movie like Schindler's List.  At least, that's the feeling I get from some people when I talk about Bowling for Columbine.

Just exactly how many documentary comedies are exposed to the general public on average each year?  Hmmm.  Perhaps only one film per decade. Two films came from Michael Moore.

Personally, he reminds me an awful lot of my longtime friend, Dances With Stumps, whose real first name is also Michael, also from Michigan and a member of the NRA, except that I've never seen him carrying the video camera, too.

 


Tuesday, October 14, 2003
There's no free peeking at the Pelt Room, Pecker!




I just watched Pecker, written and directed by John Waters in 1998.  It stars Edward Furlong, as Pecker, and Christina Ricci as his girlfriend.

This movie made me laugh out loud each time I watched it.  I watched it several times this week so far.  I found myself discovering something new that cracked me up every time, having Pecker moments.

It a simple story of a man and his camera.  He takes pictures of anything in his everyday life around his blue collar neighborhood in Hampden, outside of Baltimore.  While showing his work at the sub shop where he works, a NYC gallery owner happens along, and a star is born.

The comedy of Pecker are the great characters in his family and how fame and celebrity can change your life (for better or worse).  The dialogue is delivered in small grand statements and it reminded me of the Wizard of Oz, in a way.

So, if you need a good laugh, buy or rent Pecker ... and look for some happy pubic hair near you some time soon.  Before you comment on the similarities of my matrix self-portrait at the top of the side panel and the video cover art, at least go watch the movie first.  Although, it wouldn't be the first time someone called me a Pecker.

 


 
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