John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica

 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Serious Americans know ...

Eureka Stoltz rules!
The talent behind Serious Americans knows this upcoming election is an important one.  That's why these hip animators, writers and web designers decided to do something about it.

Serious Americans' archive of humorous and satirical short animations is an absolute treasure and I laughed my ass off at their insights into the political reality and non-reality that we're all exposed to in the media this year.

For example, their latest short Running Mate is friggin' hilarious!  Meet intrepid news anchor Eureka Stolz who has to try to keep a straight face while reporting on events surrounding the George W. Bush re-election campaign, his administration, and his White House press releases.  If you can't get enough of Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live, then pretend Eureka Stolz is doing the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim weekend update show.

The RNC is gonna be sweet!
That's my neighbor in FL, I swear!
Thanks for the political party, Dubya!
It's not like Bush, Cheney, and everyone and everything else associated with Dubya isn't simply easy fodder for criticism, parody and sarcasm -- but it really is.  Think about it, if I can consistently bash Bush, he's making it pretty friggin' easy, don't you think?  It doesn't take a rocket surgeon, for chrisakes.

Serious Americans gets the message out beyond just Bush is bad.  They have two extremely witty get-out-the-vote animations that I honestly expected to see the NBC The More You Know rainbow twinkle across the screen at the end of it.  Serious Americans has this important message tailored for the guys and the ladies.

Don't worry, Serious Americans knows you don't like to be bogged down with the facts of the Republican non-reality all of the time.  They like to party, just like you.  Check out the ongoing conversations at their political partyThese two slackers remind me of people I know.  I bet they'll remind you of someone, too.  I can really relate to the Serious Americans sense of humor.  Man, I'm so glad I checked out my PRweb XML feed, this morning -- you never know what you'll find there.

I heartily suggest you check out the animations at Serious Americans before it becomes too widely known and the servers get too bogged down.  You know how that happens.

Click, Look, and Laugh -- and then remember to vote, okay?

Monday, August 09, 2004
Aliens versus Predator

In politix, everyone makes you want to scream
You get to vote this next Friday for the Alien or the Predator and I'm not even talking about Bush or Kerry!  But, I think the upcoming AVP movie's tagline, "Whoever wins ... we lose," seems just awfully damn appropriate if you'd truly prefer giving Badnarik or Nader a shot at the presidential debates or the White House this year.

For those of you who are too young, or are thankfully not such a Sci-Fi phreek like me, let me tell you that this particular film is extremely long awaited, whether or not it becomes a big hit.

If you'll just imagine Wayne and Garth sitting on the couch in their basement making Way-back Machine noises for a moment, I'll tell you as much as I can.  It all started when Sigourney Weaver first ran around the Nostromo in her panties on the big screen when I was but a young lad and that image has been with me ever since ...

Alien (1979): Sigourney Weaver, as Ripley, and the crew of the mining transport vessel Nostromo are unexpectedly brought out of hypersleep on their journey home to answer a distress beacon signal coming from a passing planet.  They encounter aliens created by the twisted mind and imagination of H.R. Giger on planet LV-426.  Sci-Fi horror action ensues and a Ridley Scott cult-classic film dynasty is born.

Aliens (1986): After surviving the nightmare on LV-426, her long journey home and 57 years of hypersleep, Ripley is back in civilization. Unfortunately, humans have colonized LV-426 during that time and Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) is then recruited as an military advisor with the Colonial Marine unit tasked to investigate when communication suddenly stops from the LV-426 colony.  On their bug hunt, Ripley (Sigourney Weaver), Apone (Michael Biehn), Hudson (Bill Paxton), Ash (Lance Henrikson), and Burke (Paul Riser) find one little survivor, Newt, and try to escape this James Cameron film version of alien hell.

Predator (1987) - This original Sci-Fi action film by John McTiernan also goes with the nasty alien vibe but, here on earth.  Maj. 'Dutch' Schaeffer (Arnold Schwarznegger), Maj. George Dillon (Carl Weathers) and Sonny Landham (Jesse Ventura) are some of the commandos that find themselves being hunted by this alien predator in a South American jungle.  No disrespect to the successful and beloved Terminator series but, this film was actually one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's best movies.

Predator 2 (1990) - The difference between this Stephen Hopkins sequel and the original film is like playing outdoor paintball with Michigan militia wannabe teens hiding in the woods of Hell Survivors in Pinckney and playing urban paintball against the wanna-be gangstas running into concrete walls in the dark at the Paintball Arena in Pontiac.  It's all good.  No Ah-nold but, it is a pretty cool flick set in a near-futuristic Los Angeles when LAPD Lt Mike Harrigan (Danny Glover) takes on the Predator.  At the end of this film, an Alien skull is shown on display in the trophy room of the Predator's space ship.  The Aliens vs Predator idea was now in everyone's head but, first to develop a story about the idea was Dark Horse comic books.

NINE friggin' DVDs!!
Alien 3 (1992) - Because of an Alien stowaway onboard the ship, Ripley, Hicks and Newt make it off LV-426 only to crash land on Fiorini 161, a corporate prison planet where the inmate-exiles have formed a religious cult.  Hicks and Newt are dead.  Ripley and the inmates try to survive until help can arrive, along with the prison guards that don't need or carry any weapons to defend themselves.  When the alien starts running amok, they all go into McGuyver mode and improvise during most of this film until the Weyland-Yutani corporation shows up.  Realizing the corporation's true motives and intentions for her, Ripley does a full-gainer into a tank of molten lead rather than make another movie with director David Fincher.

Alien Resurrection (1997) - Just like the title of this Jean-Pierre Jeunet movie sounds, Ripley is back via the wonders of genetic engineering as Lt. Ellen Ripley clone #8.  It's been 200 years since some Ripley DNA was salvaged on Fiorini 161 but, the government is trying to breed aliens onboard the U.S. Marine vessel Auriga.  Ripley clone #8, a human-alien hybrid, along with some black market human-host-for-alien smugglers (Ron Perlman, Winona Ryder, et al) try to survive once the inevitable happens -- the aliens escape the lab and run amok.

That gets you up to where the Aliens versus Predator movie starts off next Friday but, I have a feeling many of you phreeks already knew the backstory.  So, here's the AVP plot summary by Harpster_2004 at IMDb:

Set in the early 21st century on Earth, Charles Weyland, an industrialist billionaire, leads an archaeological expedition in Antartica.  Using thermal imaging satellites, Weyland believes to have discovered the ruins of an ancient pyramid temple that predates the Egyptian and Aztec pyramids buried under the ice.  Once inside, the team finds the remains of humans with holes in the rib cage and the remains of facehuggers, meaning that the possibility of the temple being uninhabited is very unlikely.  To make matters worse, five teenage Predators are coming to the temple to perform a coming-of-age ritual that involves fighting to the death with the aliens.  Soon, it becomes clear that only one species is getting out alive.

The AVP movie is just icing on the cake for the many Sci-Fi fans of this idea and concept.  You've got many published books and a variety of video games to check out besides everything else, like the movie trailers and film clips galore.  Some of you may remember I use to have a side section link for a while that would take you to the website of H.R. Giger, the Swiss artist who designed the Alien in the first place.  Unlike the earlier movies that were all rated R, Aliens versus Predator is only rated PG-13.  However, that still means Parents Strongly Cautioned because Some Material May Be Unsuitable for Children Under 13 due to VIOLENCE, LANGUAGE, HORROR IMAGES, SLIME AND GORE.

All in all, AVP is not as bad for your kids to watch as what is not shown on the nightly news or always told to you by the politicians and their propaganda corporations, I guess.

Saturday, August 07, 2004
Transmet Monkey

One More TimeI really hate and admire Warren Ellis.

When I first started blogging Thunderstorms in the Imajica, I found his blog, Die Puny Humans, and I was hooked on it.  I've had a link to DPH on my list of blogs to read longer than the required link to Wil Wheaton dot net that all bloggers must include according to the unwritten rules of the blogosphere.

Annalee Newitz can tell you why Wil Wheaton is a dick, and I agree.  I'm not cool enough to even speak either of their names with the proper respect that their place in the heirarchy of Geek Gods deserves.

And even though Warren Ellis never returns any of my email and refuses delivery of my love-gifts of toenail clippings and scabs, I admire him anyway.

But, I do hate Warren Ellis because he's younger than me, more successful, and far more talented than I'll ever be -- and he just published Transmetropolitan number 10.

I can say that I probably have more hair on my head than he does, but that small consolation prize unfortunately comes with more nasty hair on my back, too.  Sadly, I fear I'll never be as cool or as wired as Warren Ellis.  About the only thing that truly consoles me right now is the fact that while I was scrubbing the web -- looking up the URLs for the various places where Warren Ellis has thrown his digital feces lately -- I was downloading a gang bang mpg file via an open source peer-to-peer network in the background, even on my lame-ass dial up.  Take that, Orrin Hatch.

Tales of
Human Waste

October 2004
The Cure Dirge Spider's Thrash Gouge Away
Lonely City The New Scum Year of the Bastard Lust For Life Back On The Street

Friday, August 06, 2004
Will U.S. Christians overlook obvious Bush sins?

Click for larger image!


Is the Bush Administration so absolutely hypocritical and corrupt, or simply Born-Again-Incompetent?  While Republican politicians in nearly every district in the United States try to get their socially conservative base riled up over the issue of same-sex marriage in an effort to bring them out of their churches and into the voting booth this November so they can help 'protect the family', hardly anyone in christiandom is pointing out the obvious corruption in the Bush White House staring them straight in the face, smiling, and lying through their teeth to them.  Could there be a logical explanation for this?

What is the reason for this lack of oversight?  Almost daily, I am told by my good christian friends that because I haven't 'found (their) Jesus', my fate is to become a flaming human pop tart in Satan's toaster of everlasting fire and brimstone.  These people, so quick to judge me to eternal damnation, seem to have been distracted in their keen judgements against a president and his white house so rife with corruption and scandal that it makes my teeth hurt.*

After many long years of pulpit activism, calling themselves the silent majority and the moral majority, the conservative christian voter has successfully moved the Republican party away from the middle of the political spectrum and closer to their ideal political party.  In 2000, they were 'rewarded' with a self-labelled 'man of faith' becoming president. This year, Republicans are throwing them a bone to chew on in the name of 'traditional family values' with promises of a Federal Marriage Amendment.

In politics and business, one should always thank someone for a generous gift and then politely ask, "What is this going to cost me?"  The very first cost that comes to mind for the american christian voting for George Bush is, "your christian credibility and integrity".
There are some christians that are not distracted by the issue of same-sex marriage and look at George Bush's performance as president and the actions of his administration with clearer, unclouded vision.  Christian Aid is an internationally recognized non-governmental organization (NGO) not distracted by soothing political siren calls in the U.S. by Republican candidates because they are based in the United Kingdom and trying to do their good works for the people of war-torn Iraq.

In late July 2004, Christian Aid published a press release entitled, "Christian Aid's 'Fuelling suspicion' report on target with independent audit results." Their earlier concerns about ongoing corruption in George Bush's Coalition Provisional Authority in Iraq were validated by the independent audit that the Bush Administration blocked until after the legal hand-over of sovereignty to the Iraqi Governing Council when L. Paul Bremer could be whisked out of Baghdad on a helicopter.

"As the occupying forces handed over power to a new Iraqi government at the end of June, we released a report saying that the coalition was in breach of a UN resolution for failing to account for how it had spent up to $20 billion of Iraq's oil revenues.  In mid-July the first independent audit of the coalition's spending was finally published. It is highly critical.  Our concerns have proved to be exactly on target."

Wasn't it Saddam Hussein's breach of U.N. resolutions that the Bush Administration used as a reason to invade Iraq in the first place?  If U.N. resolutions are a good enough reason to pre-emptively attack another country then they should be good enough to hold the Bush Administration accountable at the voting booth, at minimum.

"Saddam Hussein is a threat, he has WMDs, Al Qaeda is going to kill you!" While the White House got that message out in TV soundbyte form to us enough times to make it a mantra of our dreams at night, don't think for a nanosecond that oil itself wasn't important to the presidential oil man from Texas, George W. Bush.  Did you know Iraq's oil caused a national emergency?  Read George Bush's own executive order declaring a national emergency and establishing the Development Fund for Iraq (DFI).

Remember this?  Bush Administration's neo-con lackies like Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz testified before Congress and told us all that the actual financial cost of Iraqi Freedom would be paid for by Iraqi oil, saying in testimony, "And my a rough recollection well I'm the oil revenues of that country could bring between 50- and 100-billion dollars over the course of the next two or three years."  He was totally bullshitting everyone.  Iraq oil revenues are, at best, about $10-billion a year.  But, to make us all feel warm and fuzzy inside, we were told that the DFI was created so that the Iraqi people would benefit from the sale of their own oil.  Christian Aid, independent auditors, and some lawmakers within our own government are telling us that nothing could be farther from the truth.

"The auditors are concerned about reconstruction contracts awarded without competitive bidding, particularly to the US company Halliburton which has received up to $1.6 billion in contracts. Despite requests from the UN-mandated oversight board and the auditors, the coalition authorities have failed to provide information on these non-competitive contracts."

To be fair to Halliburton, they did pay $3 million to politicians during the Bush Administration's time in the White House to be given and not earn that $1.6 billion.  That's a pretty slick business deal when you consider that the other oil companies have shelled out $440 million to their pet politicians over the same amount of time, according to the Center for Public Integrity report on July 15th, 2004.

Speaking of integrity, I just wish Born-Again Christian Americans -- continually reminding me of my inevitable date with Satan's Toaster -- would stop being abject, robotic Dubya-defenders and turn their keen judgemental eye on their friend-in-Jesus in the White House.  Last time I looked, stealing and lying were definite sins that at least deserved a time-out in the corner Crawford for George W. Bush.


Other than the included links, you can also thank my old friends and fellow bloggers from the Metro Detroit area, Toulon and Duke, for this particular rant who always make thoughtful comments.  *Happy birthday, Duke!

Other good related reads and definite future rant fodder
Sovereignty: "If they want it that bad, they can have it"
by Tom Engelhardt (July 26, 2004 ZNet)

Christianity, Capitalism, Corporations, and the Myth of Dominion
by Norman Council (Newtopia Magazine Issue 17 - June/July 2004)

Thursday, August 05, 2004
New Gear - Bush World FCC

Click on the T-shirt and view a super-sized image of the Bush World FCC dinosaur patrolling the planet of sex.  It's, uh, like, 3-D rendered and like, so cool, dude!

Tell everyone you don't support government censorship and do support Thunderstorms by wearing this effin' Sci-Fi gear.

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