John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica

 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
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JfZ making a mess of the web
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Friday, July 30, 2004
Blog the Vote

Blog the Vote, Baby!
So, I'd have to say you weasels are blind if you haven't seen this on my left side menu panel.  I'm sorry I called you a weasel.  You are a Muh-Muh-MMMmole.

I realize it's a big graphic over there, but don't be scared.  I just want to make sure you know what I'll be talking about for the next 60-90 days.  Don't be afraid to click on it.  Go ahead now, move your cursor over to the left ... and give it a whirl.  I promise you'll like it.  Look, I don't care who you actually vote for this year.  Your vote is your own decision.  Vote for Kerry, vote for Bush, vote for Nader, vote for Badnarik in November.

You can't vote for anyone if you don't register to vote in your state before the 2004 election day.  In the majority of the states in the U.S, you have to get off your ass and register before the beginning of October.  Every state has their own rules, by why chance it and miss the deadline?

To help you hackers and slackers, I have partnered with Rock the Vote to enable you to register to vote online, right here at Thunderstorms, right now.  No matter what poor excuse for a state your fat carcass calls home, you can do something for yourself and shut me up with one click of your mouse.

You see, George W. Bush won the 2000 presidential election because he won Florida.  He won Florida by only 537 votes.  If that doesn't prove that your ONE little blog-reading, chatroom-lurking, pornography-downloading, incredibly-geeky and pathetically-lonely VOTE COUNTS, I don't know what could prove it to you.

While I don't care who you actually vote for -- if you don't want me ranting at you for the next four friggin' years -- you better register and you better vote.  Don't come crying to me around Thanksgiving time, bitching and moaning about who did get elected, if you didn't voteI'll reach right through this friggin' monitor and smack you back into the stone age, you screaming hairy little butt monkey.

On the other hand, if you want to stay on my good side, you'll use the Rock the Vote Online Voter Registration system I've set up for you.  And after you print-it, sign-it, lick-it, and mail-it -- you'll encourage the other people in your genetically-challenged, inbred family that are over 18 to register here too.  If you are not 18 yet, you can still help the people who forgot to use a condom and ended up with you as the karmic payback for their furious three minutes of passion.

Not only that, but you are going to help all the people you know and those drooling imbeciles that are stupid and naive enough to like you register with one click of your mouse here at Thunderstorms.
RTV banner: Dear Diary 125x125  JfZ RTV banner: Flag 125x125 JfZ RTV banner: Brandon rty aniJfZ RTV banner: Vampires Vote ani 125px
JfZ RTV banner: Dear Diary 468x60
JfZ RTV banner: Sexy 468x60
If you blog or have a web site, link to Thunderstorms and let's see how many people we can get registered online with Rock The Vote.  If you want graphics, I'll keep adding my own creations here for you to snarf up and use.  You can also just copy the 120x60 pixel animated Thunderstorms button at the bottom of the left menu panel and use it, if you like.  Don't hotlink the grafix -- save the one you want to your PC and then put it in your own file space for your site because I move my grafix all over the place and you wouldn't want to see that annoying little file/image missing crap on your own site.  Photobucket is free, if you need it.   

Let's Blog the Vote.

Thursday, July 29, 2004
Life in comics

Click here for more 'Get Your War On' comics

Hey! There are new Get Your War On comics at My New Fighting Technique Is Unstoppable!

Go there now.  You too can lose weight by laughing your fat, flabby ass off just reading comics and everything at David Rees' web site.  Better yet, take the money you'd spend on the next double-cheese pizza that you'll just stuff into your double-chinned face, buy a cool book from David Rees and help him with his efforts to get rid of some of the millions of landmines that are killing and crippling kids all over Afghanistan.

Be compassionately cool or be disgustingly fat -- it's your choice.

You might have missed my quick linkage on the TAG board, but on a sadder note:

Michael Buonauro, creator of Marvelous Bob, uploaded the final installment of the intrepid super hero's tale at the end of May.  So, Marvelous Bob's tale is complete now.  Sadly, but unfortunately true, Michael then killed himself.

There is a note on Michael's main web site to his MB fans, personal friends, and others from his mother.  I took some time to read Michael's blog.  A close friend of the family removed the journal entry comments because there were some online people being very cruel.  If you want to know how the suicide of one person can be such a terrible and confusing tragedy to those closest to that person, follow some of his links off his sites.  Check out the site of his friend, Jeff, at Wrench Farm or his girlfriend's blog.

Grieving someone who commited suicide is a conflicted confusing mess in the mind.  Confusion and outright anger is mixed in with the sadness of loss.  When I was in high school my best friend, Randy Aldrich, blew his own head off with a shotgun.  Like Michael Buonauro, Randy and his girlfriend had just broken up.  Soon after, Randy chose to kill himself on Amy's 16th birthday.  There were other problems in Randy's life besides typical teenage relationships.  There was plenty of self-administered guilt going around.  In the end, I blamed Randy.  I can relate to feeling lost.

Michael Buonauro had a great sense of humor and it lives on through the talent and memories of those who knew him.  I didn't know him personally, but I think his genius is still fucking hilarious.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Still swinging away @ DNC

Get some effin' Thunderstorms Gear
I try not to make too many blog entries at Thunderstorms  about me -- when I feel it should be more of an interactive magazine than a personal journal.  I'm striving for that with the resources available to me.  I think Thunderstorms should be about the world we live in and you.  And also, well, how I dislike both of those things.

Depending upon when you read this entry -- it could be very short.  Heleena finally has the day off and needs (cough) attention.  She also wants to take my hairy Pixel Monkey butt to the pool.

I've been busy working on some grafix and yet another website.  Details later.  Try to have some patience with me if I backfill some blog entries this week.  You might want to scroll down and make sure I'm not complaining about you personally.

Speaking of personal flaming -- I started my morning off by having this nice boy, Coprolaliacall me an assclown in Plastic's IRC channel.  I hadn't insulted him at all.  He just unilaterally launched a pre-emptive strike, I guess.  My jaw hit the keyboard.  I didn't retaliate -- maybe because I wasn't awake enough or I'm staying in my happy place, today.  Besides, given my past year, I have found that weird or bad things can sometimes turn out fairly well -- but only when I stay positive.  I refrained from calling him a humorless sophomore.

I mean, Coprolalia might be cool, right?  I have a fond appreciation for wit, sarcasm, rants and even aggression.  From what he said in IRC, he was working on a thesis paper, so he must have a few working brain cells.  I enjoy smart people.  His Plastic page was the first one I ever saw with a list of blocked users and he (cough) prompts people to look up the meaning of his username.  So I did that.  It explained much.

All in all, I am still very much in my happy place today.  I learned a new word for my day and also found a cool political blog @ and they happen to have a link to David Neiwert's Orcinus blog which is also pretty snazzy.  Both are worth checking out.  On Orcinus, David recently posted the reasons why Republicans should buy my T-shirt.  David's a professional journalist, so he's much better at making the case to conservatives than my typically Libertarian ramblings.

Day Two at the Democratic National Convention in Boston brought another group of batters to swing away at the current administration.  Like Day One, I missed yesterday evening's live coverage, too.  I did watch and listen to some of the speakers on early morning CSPAN reruns while I was in Plastic's IRC channel.  Ronald Reagan gave an awesome speech.  I saw him on the after hours coverage on MSNBC again.  Obama was outstanding.  He gave a rousing and patriotic speech about inclusiveness.  When I saw and heard Obama, I forgot he's the same guy I made a bumper sticker slogan for last month.

The country also was able to hear Theresa Heinz Kerry unbaited and unfiltered for the first significant time.  I decided that the potential first lady reminded me of the Bajoran spiritual leader Kai on Star Trek's Deep Space Nine.  Maybe it's just her scarf fetish but, Clandestino in IRC remembered the name Kai and her habit of asking, "What's troubling you, my child?"  So, we agreed that it seemingly fits with Mrs. Kerry's persona.

What are your thoughts or observations about this convention so far?  Use the [ Permalink ] to comment and don't forget to get some gear to cover up that nasty third nipple you have.  Nobody wants to see that shit.
These Geek Grrls are whack

[And] I'm still going to do the blog entries I promised some of you I was going to do this week.  Melicious got really curious about Sci-Fi Channel's Mad Mad House Vampire Don reading Thunderstorms and making comments.  I found him to be a very intelligent and nice guy from the messages I've traded with him and some of his admins at his forum site so far.  I want to talk with Heleena first and maybe do a MMH follow-up as part of it.

[And] I want to do a very good blog entry on Net Grrls, Girl Geeks or Geek Grrls very soon -- a bookmarkable blog entry for the archives.  They are many talented journalists and artists that are cool "Women on the Web", for lack of a better title.

For now though, if you're tired of me talking about Donkeys and Elephants, go check out BDInsanity, like I did for the first time today.  Their pig is nearly as disturbing looking as my own sleazy effin' PiG -- and BDI seems to have been created by a Gaggle of Grrls -- plus I kinda like their Pixel Monkey header image.  It's like looking in the friggin' mirror except I always catch hold of my own banana.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Top of the 8th Inning

Bill Clinton signed baseball
It's not quite August, the 8th month of the year, but now it is the top of the 8th inning for the Game of Politix.  Our Summer has been the least relaxing 7th inning stretch away from politics in decades because it's difficult for anyone to really look away from the political game while our military is still in Iraq.  The traditional 7th inning song of "Take me out to the ballpark" was sung this summer by the political cult celebrity, Michael Moore, and seems to have been a big hit.  Using almost a Republican ecomonic strategy mirroring the Bush Administration's tax policy, Michael Eisner's Disney gave Moore $16 million dollars to make Fahrenheit 911 but now sees dollar-zero from a film grossing $100+ million because Eisner refused to distribute it apparently for good old boy political reasons.  Seeing as Fahrenheit 911 made exponentially more money than any other Disney film produced this year, Disney stockholders may want to inquire as to the availability of a Kato Kaelin Kottage on Dubya's Crawford ranch for Eisner.  Come this November, both Bush and Eisner may have more time on their hands to be better golf buddies.

In this 8th inning, the Democrats were first up to bat with the Democratic National Convention kicking off last night.  I didn't watch it.  I did watch some reruns and highlights very early this morning on CNN, FOX and MSNBC before the commentary of the mind-numbing morning shows.  A few things come to mind.

First, it appears that unlike some big professional stars in other games, the Clintons are apparently team players.  I may have been mistaken in my previous blog entry earlier this month, Tales from the Crypt, or perhaps the Clintons may have indeed abandoned the author pundits' so-called Clinton Plan described in those novels.

Nonetheless, no matter who you are and no matter what your political ideology is -- you really can't argue with my observation -- there is no denying that Bill Clinton is the Democratic Designated Hitter.  While Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, and others got up to bat last night at the convention, Bubba was successful in batting clean up.

Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, really should stay in the dugout.  I'm not trying to sound sexist, either.  She's just not a good public speaker.  I fell on the floor laughing when MSNBC's Pat Buchanan commented on her speech, saying in his almost Nixon-esque tone, "Her voice was just this side of shrill".

While other pundits are more polite concerning Hillary, Buchanan has a point.  Even though it is often a very difficult task for any female public speaker to express righteous indignation, get angry, or sound verbally forceful without stereotypically sounding hysterical to males in an audience, her performance was better left for the minor league games on the Senate floor.  In my opinion, if Al Gore is a stiff robot, Hillary Clinton has a tenor in her voice and an oratory delivery that makes her sound like a frantic android having a circuit melt-down.

But, Bubba got the Democratic message across  -- beyond Us Good, Bush Bad.  You are going to undoubtedly hear sound bytes from his speech all this week.  The Kerry and Edwards speech writers are likely to incorporate the meat of Bubba's message for their candidates and build on it.  While it's typically a modern Democratic theme when they aren't in power to invoke images of the "We, the people, against King George", it has worked in the past.  Bill Clinton's message of Pluralism vs Unilateralism is especially appropriate given the troubling time in which we currently find ourselves domestically and internationally.

To continue with my lame baseball analogy, watching the news media do their live commentary on stools is friggin' hilarious.  I'm waiting for one of the talking heads to get up and try to incite the Boston crowd milling around behind them to do the Funky Chicken with them.  But, on a less sarcastic note, I thought Ron Reagan did a great job for MSNBC and (annoying) Joe Scarborough should be worried about his hosting job.

ya gotta love ditsy
I'm going to check out Hardblogger now.  If you think I'm rude when I make fun of you in one of my rants, check out Hardblogger to hear the professional talking heads off-camera talking some good old fashion locker room smack about the other media outlets, especially if you like some Bill O'Reilly bashing.  Hardblogger does has a nice blog link list and some interesting photos, as well.  Besides, where else can you hear the MSNBC news bunny, Chris Jansing, whine about losing her umbrella at a security checkpoint. Like, DUH, fer sure, Chris!

Even if you're not into politix, the Democratic National Convention is an important national event.  Whether Kerry-Edwards can use it for enough big mo to win the election remains to be seen.  The Republicans still get their chance at bat in the next inning of the Game of Politix in New York soon.

Monday, July 26, 2004
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