John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica

 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
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Monday, May 02, 2005
Cold Feet Walkin'

La La La Loser!!
There is a reason why I no longer post daily.  In contrast, there are blogs with a half-dozen or more entries per day.  I had to hold true to my every-other-day discipline not to publish anything about Jennifer Wilbanks, the Georgia peach who is now dubbed, "the Runaway Bride."

You see, after following the apparent abduction story of John Mason's fiance with much interest, I was awake the other night when news flashed that she had been found alive.  "How wonderful," I thought.  During the previous several days, I was glued to the TV news reports about this story.

Of course, the media ate the story up and hyped it in the hopes of big viewership ratings.  Statistically, abducted people end up dead.  Whether the abductee is a child or a female, usually they are snatched up by some psychopathic sexual predator who has a day to remember with them, kills them so as not to leave a witness to their depravity, and then buries them in some wooded shallow grave.  Unless it is like a Scott Peterson redux.  I'm not a legal scholar, but logic tells me that you can only have three or four trials of the century before people start ignoring the manufactured and featured news.

Speaking of the news, I have a personal rant I need to get off my chest for a quick mention, and then I'll return us to the regularly scheduled train of thought.  Last year, my little slice of paradise successfully survived four hurricanes in nearly as many weeks.  I mean, sure the power went out, branches and trees fell, and it was a stressful month or so.

When the storms passed, my happy little life returned to normal in short order.  But, just recently I awoke to blinking LEDs on everything I could survey within my small kingdom because of some electrical outage from a passing thunderstorm.  Even though it may be several days until I synchronize the clock on my microwave oven with the one on the coffee maker, what pisses me off most is that all evidence points to a lightning strike on the Cold War sized satellite dish that provides me with television.

Yeah.  So what?  I'll tell you, "So what?"  Most of my television is piped through a third-party proprietary cable system originated from several satellite dishes and antennae arrays located out in the back forty of the grass and sand meadow, who some call a nine hole golf course.  While I think the sport of golf is truly lame -- a sport for fat, rich, old people who need half-a-day away from their spoiled and snotty families -- I'm bummed out that lightning must have struck those archaic dishes out on the golf course.

Why?  Because the only one left working is only providing me with the joys of Fox News, Christian Broadcasting and Shopping Channels.  After I felt the need to stab my own eyes out watching Fox's "Beltway Boys" and then stopped myself from performing a self-lobotomy with an ice cream scoop from watching these "Bush Butt Boys" on Fox, I watched three movies tonight about the old testament.  Unlike the ass-kissing Beltway Boys, at least Moses had a pair of balls big enough to speak his truth to power.

Mental Note: If one were to buy into the notion of Satanic symbolism, why aren't people alarmed that Moses' initial reason to jerk Pharoah's chain came from a burning bush (Flames=Hell) or that he was told to prove his Exodus message was truly from God by throwing his staff on the ground -- at which point it turned into a (Asp=Satan) serpent? 

Unfortunately, this thinking allows me to re-board some of my thoughts about Jennifer Wilbanks.  As I've already mentioned, I was awake when the news flashes came in.  Live. Some uncut and uneditted footage for the sake of expedient broadcasting of the news. CNN, MSNBC, and FOX  -- all jousting for the best spot and the newest, startling development.

Well, when Jennifer was found to be alive, people spoke of Elizabeth Smart miracles, and faith, and thank you for your prayers, and we knew God would answer our pleas.  Being a bit sarcastic (you think?), I thought of those sports teams who thank Jesus for the touchdown and the win, and the championship, and the champagne in the locker room, and the party in the house and the front lawn in Duluth, Georgia.  No one blames Jesus when they lose, do they?

It's never God's will that your loved one had a raccoon drag their skull fifty yards from a crime scene and identification of the body is delayed several days because the coroner can't get fingerprints from a corpse so decayed in a shallow grave.  No one really gave Jesus any high-fives or props when they found Chandra Levy's body scattered down a park hillside, did they?

Here's the thing that somehow got under my skin.  Everyone around this couple is so enamored with their feel-good, born-again christian psychological bullshit that they can't see the sword of Damacles hanging over their head, they refuse proven psychological normatives in the place of their disco-era faith in God, and they are obviously more concerned with their own vanity and what the community will think of them, rather than the reality of the situation and the facts on hand.  No wonder Dubya was re-elected.

Before you pop off that cut-n-paste hatemail from Pastor's website, read your bible.  I may bash Bush, and I may bash Evangelicals sometimes, but I do it because I'm continually surprised and simultaneously horrified that these so-called Christians don't bother to read their own bible.  There are some interesting fables in the bible.  I mean, Moses could probably have kicked ass against King Arthur's Merlin in some WWF smackdown.  What gets me all grumpy toward some of the self-righteous and hypocritical people thumping some revised version of their bible is that they are the same people so quick to point our how violent, evil, or nefarious the Qu'ran is in some childish method of finger pointing and tattling.

I have to say, "You all need a time-out in the corner."  Dunce caps are optional.  Don't worry.  Even though my sins have caused the Almighty to smite my good cable channels, I have total faith that sometime on Monday, some guy named Jesus (or Bubba) will fix the problem.

And that poor bastard, John Mason.  Talk about rejection.  His woman would rather cut off her hair and fake a kidnapping than get married.  Got cold feet?  Go Greyhound.

[Headphones] :: Allah's Helicopter (beta) - JfZ

Saturday, April 30, 2005
TAG archive - April 2005

Everyone!  Into the pool!!
So ... why?  Well, I go through the TAG board periodically (or when asked) and delete entries.  Mainly I delete your entries because it reloads the page periodically or when you add a new entry for chatting and when it gets too large, it takes up bandwidth loading constantly.  My general rule was this: if you put an annoying little smilie emoticon on the TAG, that entry was the first to go when I cleaned house.

The second rule: if the entry was older.  But the second rule bummed me out because I hate to throw away memories, so, some entries were deemed to be classics and had to be preserved (like Hygelic reading my blog in the bathroom on his cell phone).

Then the first and second rules unfortunately clashed when it came to old school phreeks who might put an ascii emoticon at the end of their sentence, like Skennedy (et al).  These people were violating my first unstated rule through no fault of their own, and, because the programmers of the TAG board must have thought to themselves, "how handy-fucking-dandy would it be if we just translated every ascii emoticon to a different happy little yellow face?"  So, they dropped another few hits of Exstacy, patted each other on the back and went back to coding the TAG board.

So, whether it is a good thing or a bad thing -- I've decided to archive the TAG board here for all to see -- and still be able to delete older entries (and keep the TAG.html small) with a clear conscience.  I normally archive halfway through the month.

Read 2005 Archive: [March][February][January]

Read 2004 Archive: [December][November][October][September][August][July]
[Prior to July 2004]

Static Brain » I just read your perpetual delusion post. This is America: one great big perpetual delusion. Sad is it not? Anyway thanks for the info on datamining. I looked it up. Sick business.
Lyly » Happy Weekend, John.
BrokenChaos » Happy Weekend!
jr » cool layout
Gloria » S'up.
J f Z thinks aloud » *Dennis: That explain alot about you. *Kristi: I miss you, yes. *Rocker: Fishing and beer, nothing better! *Wail: You're not the first to call me a slut. *Everyone: Thanks, but I hate recognition.
dennis » Re: "Stonehedge" - I could zoom in on the house where my wife and I stayed for B and B. The old man was a shepherd for the original owner of SH - sitting against the stones at nite while shepherding
Kristi » miss me yet? Moving in 2 months.
Rocker » i went fishing saturday. i caught 7 fish. i got drunk & left the fish on the boat. i thought i saw a baby gator, it was just an old boot in the water. have an awesome week featured freak, take care =)
wailfulrhyme » ps: glad you liked the rick mercer. *wink*
wailfulrhyme » hey slut. congrats on being featured.
se » Congrats on being featured
raejane » woot
stormiemoon » Hey Congrats on being featured! Really interesting blog...great!
Lyly » Congratulations for being today's featured blog.
evlglfngcwmstr » wow nice blog
Gloria » Woooooo, J!
Brandon Starr » Congrats on being the featured blog, JfZ!
Anthony » Worthy Blog? where?? *boo hiss!!!* Geez, I was just kidding!
Jude » Heh! BD finally featured a worthy blog!
Jude » Hey you... *blows JfZ akiss*
Demented » I too offer congrats. Just think millions of eyes are now on you.
ssprite » congrats! youre the featured blog today - havent been by in a few days - love reading you
BrokenC » Hello
Daveman » WOW! I ever been here before. I'm lost - but I must say, its a kind of nice place to get lost in, at - uhm - its good to be here.
Angelgrayson » conspiracy indeed. always a good read. Have a great one!
blueskelton » very interesting hypothesis
7one » Very good blog you have here
Lyly » Perhaps...there's an omlette commercial that I seem to catch several times a week.
wailfulrhyme » thieves, thieves, tramps and thieves... *replaces e-boots with e-huggles* boioioioikoioioioioioioiking
J f Z » The blog was just upgraded today. I have some work to do. But, I just tested 'ban and delete' on Tag Spam Boy.
Akira3099 » Buy Me! Buy Me!
canis lupis » I guess that puts my "in your face" online persona into question
canis lupis » Hello there JFZ, I am honored to be on your list of links. Thanks. So sorry that you had to drop by on my blog and witness such "mushiness"
wailfulrhyme » e-boots-in-the-ass.
J f Z » It was in a message to you. I mistakenly thought you had a sense of humor, CM.
CuriouslyMad » why do you think I should find it funny that you post my personal images online without my permission?
CuriouslyMad » why would you think it's ok to post my personal images anywhere without my permission?
blueskelton » hope your doing well my friend I hope our battle of the bands was that exciting but i doubt it
canis lupis » why hello there, JFZ, saw you came by on my blog and left your prints. you honor me. By the way, thanks for that link to militarycity.
Jude » Hey John...did Ten Speed Indian win?
RedBetty » Hi Jfz, like your blog. Thanks for the welcome to FL!
J f Z » Thanks, Edna May. I think I'll make tiny VLT sandwiches after I light this BBQ grill.
Edna May » *leaves a varkling for JfZ
Mikey » yep - fattening
Rocker » happy tree friends make me want to regurgitate. with that thought out of the way, have a nice weekend, take care j.
prue » GOSH, this site rocks the house! I love your that "Conspiracy Theory - Iraq WMD Redux" entry. I have a site about George Bush. Do you mind if i Permalink your that entry? OMGF please! and these colors
Urban Gypsy » you are my site of the day!
J f Z thinks aloud » <-- Happy Tree Friends Flash at AtomFilms. Stabalicious.
KellyK » *stabs* hope the lack of stabbing activities has not erased me from your memory...heh *stabs some more*
BrokenChaos » The squirrel lady is something special to say the least. That's..... hm, I don't think they have a word to ampley describe my thoughts on the squirrel. Interesting entry.
Anthony » If it's not illegal, it's definitely fattening. Woof! said not to steal from Ang.
Angelena » maow. that's all i have to say for now. just "maow."
dennis » Excuse me, JfZ! Are we, as Americans, still allowed to say the kinds of things being said on this site? Isn't that now illegal? (at least immoral) - or fattening?
Deadringer » I have no theory about WMD to submit, the idea of us going to war over WMD is patently absurd. Howver, I do have a theory about what I will post on my blog soon - "Occupational Democracy" is the title
jr » cool blog
Dr. Piranha » Nice Blog I like the squirrel lady, shes nuts, ahahaha
ssprite » BD finally approved my new nic - hope 2 C U soon
Jude » Gee dude...I'm wondering how long it would've taken you to scan JfZ's other entries before you hit the 'I'm an idiot' button...
BrokenChaos » I loved the ghost entry. Happy Monday!
J f Z » LOL. Yeah, dude. The whole blog is about ghosts. You wouldn't like it.
SSunsprite » why you go POOF? i was getting ready to tag you on the main board LOL
dude.... » some people get creeped out because of some noises an you make a site about it?!?!?!?!
dude.... » man you guys beleive that stuff???
wailfulrhyme » oh shit, that was old too. now i feel supid. i wish you deleted tags.
wailfulrhyme » jeez, i feel bad. i just got back from doing it, and then i have to take a poll about it.
Jude » That tag was for tbl...not you, John. We'd never say no to you.
Akira3099 » J.. ya got me
Jude » no
top blog list » join us
BrokenChaos » Happy Weekened!
blueskelton » Have a great weekend J. Im off to see Sin City
wordweave » Thanks for the visit : ) This is a great place you have...
Angelgrayson » Thanks for checkin on me JFZ, its much appreciated
Rocker » oh I did indeed read the comments. I felt like taking a shower afterwards. take that for what you will. take care sir.
Feline » Awsome place ya have here, JFZ. Going to be stoppin' by more often, heh.
jennifuzzy » hello stopped by good entry
Puss. » you make me wanna lala... man I hate that song
Lyly » eeeyellow.
CuriouslyMad » *sigh*
blueskelton » thanks man i preciate it. Its broken right now because it loads at the same speed with or without the graphics
Rocker » Bed, Bath n Beyond made me laugh out loud. Perhaps I'm too easily amused.
J f Z thinks aloud » <-- Almost a decade later, he's still at it and why he's still one of my heroes. Think of it as coding one's own Matrix, rather than plugging into or out of someone else's.
Akira3099 » Heh, With Mr. Barlows Declaration and that music I feel like we're at that huge underground party in the Matrix, except we're trying to plug ourselves INTO the Matrix.
CuriouslyMad » yo.
BrokenChaos » You're welcome! Whatever I did...
Jude » 'Morning, always, an excellent read. Very thought-provoking.
blueskelton » and link fixed
Lyly » Good Friday evening to you, John.
melicious » I truly wish I read your blog more actively. I had to page back 3 times to get to the Idiot Box...
melicious » However, I think I really injured myself when I fell off the couch laughing dammit!! xoxo
blake » kick ass tagboard... perfect size perfect colors... just delicious.

[^ TOP ^]

[Headphones] :: BaD DoG Karaoke v1.0 - JfZ

Thursday, April 28, 2005
Hockey Leagues Listing

Motor City Mechanics
We don't need no stinkin' NHL.  NHL commissioner Gary Bettman can kiss the pallor off of my hairy ass.  When I moved from Detroit to Florida, the first thing I truly missed was being able to watch Detroit Red Wings hockey games on televison.  This last year, everyone has been deprived of the NHL.  And to think that one season, I coughed up $1000 to a charity auction for a friend and I to enjoy one Red Wing's playoff game in an executive suite.  Guess what?  I'm enjoying hockey playoffs in a number of leagues for free this year.

Here are the teams of some of the hockey leagues in North America where the motto is still "Beat me with a stick and call me Claude."

UHL  United Hockey League
Central Division
Flint Generals
Kalamazoo Wings
Motor City Mechanics
Muskegon Fury
Port Huron Beacons
Western Division
Fort Wayne Komets
Kansas City Outlaws
Missouri River Otters
Quad City Mallards
Rockford IceHogs
Eastern Division
Adirondack Frostbite
Danbury Trashers
Elmira Jackals
Richmond RiverDogs

AHL  American Hockey League
Albany River Rats
Binghamton Senators
Bridgeport Sound Tigers
Chicago Wolves
Mighty Ducks
Cleveland Barons
Edmonton Road Runners
Grand Rapids Griffins
Hamilton Bulldogs
Hartford Wolf Pack
Hershey Bears
Houston Aeros
Lowell Lock Monsters
Manchester Monarchs
Manitoba Moose
Milwaukee Admirals
Norfolk Admirals
Portland Pirates
Providence Bruins
Rochester Americans
San Antonio Rampage
Springfield Falcons
St. John's Maple Leafs
Syracuse Crunch
Utah Grizzlies
Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins
Worcester IceCats

CHL Canadian Hockey Leagues
OHL Ontario Hockey League
Barrie Colts
Belleville Bulls
Brampton Battalion
Erie Otters
Guelph Storm
Kingston Frontenacs
Kitchener Rangers
London Knights
Mississauga IceDogs
Oshawa Generals
Ottawa 67s
Owen Sound Attack
Peterborough Petes
Plymouth Whalers
Saginaw Spirit
Sarnia Sting
Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds
Sudbury Wolves
Toronto St. Michael's Majors
Windsor Spitfires

WHL Western Hockey League
Eastern Conference:
East and Central divisions
Brandon Wheat Kings
Moose Jaw Warriors
Prince Albert Raiders
Regina Pats
Saskatoon Blades
Calgary Hitmen
Lethbridge Hurricanes
Medicine Hat Tigers
Red Deer Rebels
Swift Current Broncos
Western Conference:
B.C. and U.S. divisions
Kamloops Blazers
Kelowna Rockets
Kootenay Ice
Prince George Cougars
Vancouver Giants
Everett Silvertips
Portland Winter Hawks
Seattle Thunderbirds
Spokane Chiefs
Tri-Cities Americans

QHL Quebec Hockey League
Atlantic Division
Acadie-Bathurst Le Titan
Cape Breton Screaming Eagles
Halifax Mooseheads
Moncton Wildcats
P.E.I. Rocket
East Division
Baie-Comeau Drakkar
Chicoutimi Les Saguenéens
Lewiston MAINEiacs
Québec Remparts
Rimouski Océanic
West Division
Drummondville Voltigeurs
Gatineau Olympiques
Rouyn-Noranda Huskies
Shawinigan Cataractes
Val-d'Or Foreurs
Victoriaville Tigres


[Headphones] :: Jessica: Pleasure Club Mix - JfZ

Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Birds, Bees and Bushit

"This is why Mommy takes so much prozac."

The typical teenage daughter is in her room, online, using AOL instant messenger, taking digital pictures of herself with a sign that says, "I love Boiis."  Apparently, she also loves Brent, but this month it is Bryce that preoccupies every waking minute of this girl's day.  Seems perfectly normal and natural to me.

Biologically, a typical teenager's sexual drive is like a speeding car on a freeway.  Mom and Dad are just nervous backseat drivers who can't reach the brake pedal, but if they're lucky -- they can remind the driver of the speeding sex drive car to wear her seatbelt, provide a car with airbags, and they may be able to reach over and grab the steering wheel once in a while to avoid a nasty accident.

I know what you're thinking.  Why does he always use automotive analogies?  I grew up in Detroit, that's why.

But, seriously, the Culture Wars in the U.S. have been fought between the right-wing social conservatives and everyone else in the country since the Puritans decided everyone needed to live by their rules because their god had better weapons than the Native American deities.  The Bush Doctrine is no different.  He and his god run the world these days, so get used to it.  Maybe next time, you'll remember that your vote counts.

If you read some of the ideology on the social conservative groups' websites that the media mindlessly gave credit for the Bush 2004 re-election, you quickly notice that they are not happy.  They are not filled with joy and singing halleluahs.

Even though Bush gave them untold billions of tax dollars through Faith-Based Initiatives early on, they weren't satisfied.  Even an election year freebie bonus from the Health and Human Service Department of $31 million dollars solely to promote abstinence only until marriage programs wasn't enough:

"Sexual activity before marriage can have a negative social and psychological impact on teenagers," Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy G. Thompson said. "Abstinence-only education programs support teens in their decision to remain abstinent until marriage."
Birdies for Bush
I'm fairly certain Bush's good old boy, Tommy, didn't mean gay marriage when he said that last year, either.  As a matter of fact, the Bush administration had to shred Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) guidelines and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 in order to allow FBCI religious organizations to receive federal funds and discriminate against pesky non-believers.  Personally, I'm in favor of religious organizations discriminating in any way they wish.  If the Church of Bob doesn't want to hire a one-legged lesbian Muslim to spit shine their holy cross, I'm all for it.  Get someone from the Church of Joe to do it, but don't expect me to support the Bush administration giving religion-at-large billions of U.S. tax dollars on top of the lost billions of tax revenue religious organizations already suck up and flush down into their holy toilets.

I'm just one of those quirky Libertarian people who believes that the constitutional principles concerning the seperation of church and state protects both the church and the state.  It is clear from every available opinion poll that the citizens of the U.S. thought the politicization of the Terri Schiavo case was both distasteful and troubling.  The United States rightly persecuted a Global War over terrorism by radical religious fundamentalists, but has it broken all the mirrors in its own house?

Now, we must urge our own politicians to honor their oath of office -- to protect and defend, from enemies foreign and domestic.  Religion in government, or government in religion, is a pollution that destroys the credibility, validity and worthiness of each societal institution.  Nearly a century and a half after the U.S. Civil War, we have political parties and popular mass media so enamored with the promotion of the Red State vs Blue State political and cultural divisions that the United States is in serious danger of losing all of its global clout and credibility, except for its capacity for war.

[Headphones] :: Democrusader - JfZ
[NEW - 24K dialup MP3 stream version of Democrusader]

Sunday, April 24, 2005
Machu Picchu

One of the most famous Incan cities in the world, sun alignments are found throughout Machu Picchu.  Many features, including the Sacred Plaza, The Temple of Three Windows and The Intihuatana platform, align with the summer solstice azimuth of 65-245 degrees.  Scientists believe these alignments were primary considerations in the construction of the shrines.  A shaft of light, shining through an east-facing window, reportedly illuminates The Torreon, or Temple of the Sun, during the summer solstice.  The city was built between 1460 and 1470 AD at an altitude of 8,000 feet.  Space Imaging's IKONOS satellite took this image of Machu Picchu September 8, 2003.

If you go to, you can check out their images of Ancient Observatories.  They have some interesting places on the globe to check out.

I found it a little bizarre to zoom out from the close-up of Stone Henge and see the surrounding farms, and roads, and the development.  I expected to see a stripmall with a Subway Subs and a Starbucks Coffee.

I just had this weird thought about viewing these ancient places from space satellites.  When the Hubble telescope started viewing out into the vastness of space, it was said that it was like being a time traveller, looking back across the millions of lightyears at interstellar objects.

Satellite imagery looking down on our planet has revealed some secrets from our past.  Changing the miniscule human perspective of vision into a god's eye view has revealed things previously kept unknown.  The Meso American Zuni indian complexes have been shown to align themselves over the course of miles beyond the visible horizon, yet served some unknown purpose.  It wasn't until satellite imagery became so commonplace that people started listening to Shoemaker about the asteroid impact history of our own planet.

If you like ancient places, check out the Virtual Egypt entry from last year.  Where is the ancient place that most interests you located?

[Headphones] :: Evil Stevie: Activate! - JfZ

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