John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica

 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
[Search Topics]

[Bush] [Fraggin']
[Iraq] [Conspiracy]
[Florida] [Evil Thumbnails]
[Iran] [Sex]
[NASA] [Movies]
[Politics] [GooTube]
[Media] [TIDGADA]
[Sports] [LBOH]

[Tag Board] [Archives]
<< April 2005 >>
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 01 02
03 04 05 06 07 08 09
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30

JfZ making a mess of the web
[@twitter] [@facebook]
[@playlist] [@plastic]
[@vodpod] [@zazzle]
[helpforum] [web-litter]
[verissimus] [morphine dreams]
[dark skies] [brilliant weeds]

Phreek-went Phaves
[blogs] [ezines] [rtmfd]
[eye candy] [ear candy]
[mind candy]

[Buy Thunderstorms Gear]
Get Some Effin' Gear

[Supported Causes]

Add to My Yahoo!
[+ favorites]
AddThis Feed Button
rss feed

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Privacy Policy

If you want to be updated on this weblog Enter your email here:

Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Conspiracy Theory - Iraq WMD Redux

Conspiracy Theory in the Imajica

Conspiracy Theory in the Imajica Menu
[ Intro ]   [ Contents ]   [ Submit Your Theory ]   [ Resource List ]

"The commission report delivers a sharp critique of the way intelligence has been collected and analyzed against some of the most different intelligence targets, especially Iraq."

-- George W. Bush, March 31st, 2005
WMD Commission Report press briefing

So, after more than a year of independent investigation of the exaggerations and outright lies that the Bush administration used to justify initiating and prosecuting a pre-emptive war with another country, that's all he has to say directly about it?

Let's take a quick trip back in time with the Way-Back Machine, shall we?
The date: February 6th, 2004.
The place: the Oval Office.
The event: George W. Bush is signing Executive Order 13328.

During 2003, the CIA's own Iraq Survey Group (ISG) has failed to find those pesky WMDs and their chief inspector, David Kay, resigns and goes public.  The House and Senate are whining up a storm.  In order to quell this growing outcry, especially in an election year, Executive Order 13328 officially blames the messenger (the intelligence community) and establishes the WMD Commission.

If you happened to miss this momentous event of blame shifting at the White House, it's likely because you were too busy being entertained at the time with the made-up scandal and uproar by Bush's religious right supporters in the form of Janet Jackson's Floppy Fun Bag.  BushCo loves people like Tom Delay.  One phone call to the man and he'll create a worldwide media distraction in short order.  Tom Delay has serious ethical problems?  Who cares.  He's the BushCo Go-to Guy.

WMD Commission Report
Now, let's return to the present day.  After 14 months of investigation, the WMD Commission, formally known as The Commission on the Intelligence Capabilities of the United States Regarding Weapons of Mass Destruction, releases its 618 page epic tome, commonly known as the WMD Commission Report.  The Government Printing Office (GPO) is so geeked, it's been taking advance orders for it.  The White House likes it so much, it creates a whole subsection of its official website for it.

Oh, I'm sorry.  Did you miss this?  Perhaps, it is because BushCo took a page out of the old playbook and improved on it.  This time, let's just call this scandal, uproar, or distraction -- Terri Schiavo.  A month ago, Dubya made a point to publicly support Delay:
Q Tom DeLay, the House Majority Leader, has been admonished three times by the House Ethics Committee, is currently embroiled in several controversies involving a lobbyist who happened to be a pretty big fundraiser for your two campaigns. Do you have the full confidence in Tom DeLay, his tactics and his leadership role in the Republican Party?

THE PRESIDENT: I have confidence in Tom DeLay's leadership, and I have confidence in Tom DeLay. And I am -- we've worked closely with Tom DeLay and the leaders in the House to get a lot done during the last four years, and I'm looking forward to working with him to get a lot done during the next four years. We've got a big agenda.
A big agenda?  Sure, why not super-size that fucking order of fast food for our minds with patriot fries?  Then, go after the oil fields in Iran and Venezuela, when it's strategically feasible and the buzz of burying our own from Operation Iraqi Freedom has died down a bit.  First, let's use the religious right to whip up the next domestic distraction over judicial tyranny and pit them against the pro-choice majority over some federal judicial nominations.  If only Supreme Court Chief Justice Rehnquist could just stay alive long enough for the timing to be perfect with the draw down of forces from Iraq, BushCo can act while its political opposition is still walking around with its balls still floating in the 2004 Election Loss Jar.

With such a big BushCo bag of tricks, it's no wonder that many Americans still think we went to war with Iraq because of weapons of mass destruction, or even more ridiculous Bushworld claims of Saddam Hussein ties to Al-Qaeda.  According to information in a recent ABC news report:
The issue of veracity also plays out in views of weapons of mass destruction and links to al Qaeda. Fifty-six percent of Americans still think Iraq did possess WMDs shortly before the war, though none has been found; that's sharply down, though, from the 89 percent who thought before the war that it had such weapons.

Similarly, six in 10 Americans also continue to think that before the war Iraq provided direct support to the al Qaeda terrorist group. But nearly four in 10 say this is their "suspicion only;" just two in 10 believe there's been any solid evidence of it.
Un-fucking-believable!  Even managers in our own government beaurocracy know better than this.  Government Executive, an in-house trade publication for the GS types in our own government, had been reporting in 2003 that Iraq / Al Qaeda Links were weak, at best:
"Our conclusion was that Saddam would certainly not provide weapons of mass destruction or WMD knowledge to al Qaeda because they were mortal enemies," said Greg Thielmann, who worked at the State Department's Bureau of Intelligence and Research on weapons intelligence until last fall. "Saddam would have seen al Qaeda as a threat, and al Qaeda would have opposed Saddam as the kind of secular government they hated."

And Flynt Leverett, who worked on Middle East issues at the National Security Council until earlier this year and is now with the Brookings Institution's Saban Center for Middle East Policy, said that some administration officials pushed the intelligence envelope on the Qaeda connection. "After September 11, there was a concrete effort by policy makers, particularly in the Pentagon and the vice president's office, to come up with links between al Qaeda and Iraq."
I hate to upset anyone who again voted for their Bush/Cheney friends-in-jesus in 2004, but they've been lying to you all along the way.  Let's just pretend that George W. Bush was simply an idiot puppet, or a well-meaning and innocent cheerleader for the more savvy neocons that surrounded him.  If you abjectly believe that is the case with Bush, then don't you think a true man of god, or one with simple rational integrity, would put these demons behind him -- fire them -- not promote them to positions of more power?

[Headphones] :: Democrusader - JfZ   NEW

Sunday, April 10, 2005
Swamp Gas - v. 006

Welcome to Swamp Gas in the Imajica.  Similar to the You Can't Make This Shit Up (YCMTSU) section, Swamp Gas will focus solely on news and items of interest in the sunshine state of Florida.

They say, "All the nuts in America roll downhill to Florida," so let's just see how true that phrase really is.

Click on the Swamp Gas logo for the smelly menu.

Swamp Gas v. 006

 Papal Squirrel BOCA RATON

When Roman Catholic Pope John Paul II died, Boca resident Ms. Kelly Foxton decided to honor the religious world leader by dressing up her little rescued tree friend, Sugar Bush Squirrel. While Ms. Foxton has retired from the Grand Ole Opry, it seems her entertainment career has gained a second wind through photographing the squirrel. Ms. Foxton boasts that she has over 1000 outfits for her supermodel squirrel who is both very much alive and even patriotic. With such a prolific modelling portfolio, it makes me wonder how long it will take to popularize the phrase, "You've been squirreled!"


 Elsie the Ecoli EUSTIS

Despite the fact that over two dozen people recently have been infected by E.coli and children are still hospitalized, some with Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome, from having contact with animals at three other central Florida area fairs linked to the Ag-Venture traveling petting zoo, the Lake County Fair opened its gates Thursday. Here's my tip for the little kiddies to avoid infection: Wash your hands. Don't suck your thumb after petting smelly animals. And just to stay even safer, never eat the cheese burgers sold at county fairs.


 GOP dumping Martinez as he says What - my memo? ORLANDO / WASHINGTON

When I said earlier that "you're simply not paying attention" concerning the politics of the Schiavo case, I should have directed that comment to Republican Senator Mel Martinez as he handed the now infamous Schiavo Talking Points Memo to Democratic Senator Tom Harkin on the Senate floor. First pleading ignorance, then denying, then admitting, and finally passing the buck to Brian Darling, Martinez accepted the staffer's resignation. Way to go Brian, for taking a shot to the nuts for the team!

While some people point to the connection between Brian Darling and Texas Congressman Tom Delay, the rabid, do-anything-it-takes pro-life politics of Martinez likely hails back to his FSU college buddy and law partner, Ken Conner, who is not only president of Florida Right-to-Life, but also the powerful DC-based Family Research Council. Now that some Republicans are calling Tom Delay 'an embarrassment' to the party, others say the untasteful politicization of the Schiavo case by Martinez is just the latest outrage in a long pattern, prompting some to call him Sideshow Mel.


[Headphones] :: Democrusader - JfZ   NEW

Friday, April 08, 2005
Ghost Stories

Dead Souls Quake 3
While it should be obvious that I'm a Clive Barker fan, Stephen King is a shaman of horror for so many people.  I do like my horror with the raw, kinky edge one finds in Barker's Hellraiser, but I have to acknowledge that Stephen King's work is entertaining even when it is tamed down enough to be shown on PG-13 television.  I found myself glued to the television for a few hours this week as the Sci-Fi channel aired King's Rose Red mini-series.  Basically a haunted house story, it was acted well and had some appropriately used special effects.  It certainly was as scary as the original Amityville Horror, but not likely as shocking as the new Amityville Horror film coming out on April 15th.

Brought to you by the makers of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the movie trailer alone made me nervous.  The Amityville Horror films have always been billed as being based upon a true story.  Obviously, people that experience a paranormal event, or even think they have, are more prone to believe such ghost stories.  Then, you also have another group of people who profit from the paranormal experience or the unknown, like clairvoyants and even the clergy.  I don't find any real fault with this second group people.  Afterall, it's their chosen profession.  The Amityville story has Mr. and Mrs. Warren, and they have an interesting website, too.  It's all turned out to be quite an industry.  The Amityville Horror, without all the ghosts, is based upon a true story of the tragic murders of the DeFeo family by the son, Ronald, in 1974.

Coincidentally, that same year, my mom and I moved into a old house.  It was the original farmhouse when the entire square mile of property was a working farm, instead of the growing suburb that it was at that time, outside of Detroit.  You could tell it had been a farm because the roof on the neighbor's house was still mansard-shaped like the original barn that it once was.  We thought our house, or places nearby, might be haunted.

We heard some disturbing stories about previous owners.  One person had gone insane and another had committed suicide.  Also, I know one neighbor had an actual grave in their damn backyard.  Then, there was the old woman who lived in the barn-type house when we first moved in.  She creeped me out when she was alive, but then she had her ashes spread across her property when she died.  The area could have been a paranormal hotspot, for all I know.

The only thing I can remember is that much of that house and the smaller one next to it, which was also on the property, were both remodelled at some point in the 1940's or 1950's with solid 3/4" tongue-and-groove wood panelling.  All the walls had these large black knots in them that looked like eyes.  If I let my imagination run away a little, it was unnerving to go to sleep at night with the walls staring at me.

Belief in spirits or ghosts seems to be worldwide.  Checking a Yahoo Directory tonight, I found a few interesting websites.  If you like ghost stories, check out the [true stories] tab on Singapore's First Only Ghost Stories (SFOGS) website.  There are many dozen user-submitted spooky tales listed to read.  Another cool website (because I was able to control the webcam in the basement) is the one for the gothically designed Willard Library Building in Indiana.  I played with their camera, but I didn't see the ghost.

Update: I added 3 more Pheatured Phreeks. More to come.
Blue Skelton

Do you live in old, creepy apartment building or house?  Do you have any ghost stories?

[Headphones] :: EROS (m2b2) - Richard Flanagan (aka ghost)

Wednesday, April 06, 2005
WP / DK01

Keys Dome
Daniel Kennedy woke up to the screaming digital monotone of his alarm clock.  He cursed it, but was glad to be awakened at such a productive hour.  He then cursed the phantom pain he was feeling in his useless legs.

"Alarm Off!" Daniel yelled to the shadowy room.  The annoying ring continued in his ears for several seconds as the overhead flourescents flickered to life.

After some twisting and turning, he maneuvered himself into his electric ambulatory unit.  The AU was an older model, almost more valuable to Daniel if he sold it at auction as an antique, but he had spent some serious money modifying it to his tastes.

Daniel knew tonight's coffee was only 4 minutes away, which made him hurry.  The coffee was totalmente libre.  Daniel had been given a kilo of coffee as a gift for doing some satellite signal hacking for a neighbor who had some underground connections in Samerican banned substances.  He could almost taste it.

Daniel drove his AU to the keypad next to his locked bedroom door.  This side of the thick steel door was completely covered with a white sheet magnet that he used as a dry-erase board.  From top to bottom, all of Daniel's personal contacts, codes and notes were hand-written on that door. As a whole, the door looked like schizophrenic artwork, but it was Daniel's Rosetta Stone and it kept the information off the digital grid and away from prying eyes.  He glanced up at the four split-screen surveillance monitors above the keypad.

"Mira, mira," he urged the images on the monitors, as the cameras proceeded through their agonizingly slow automated panning of the other rooms in his apartment.  He had installed the security system after an unfortunate misunderstanding with some petty thugs and runners in the dome, but he was overly impatient with the system now because he really needed his coffee tonight.  Satisfied that his apartment was clear, he punched today's 11-digit alarm deactivation code into the keypad.

The door clanked loudly as the eight 20mm hardened steel bolts retracted from the door and back into the door frame.  Daniel scanned his notes for a contact from whom he might be able to barter for some lubricant to quiet those bolts as the door then whooshed when the negative air flow seal was broken.

Daniel hurriedly stabbed at the remote control mounted on his AU and the thick door swung open into the hallway. As he drove his AU down the hallway, the aroma of brewing coffee hit him.  The coffee aroma was euphoric and he closed his eyes to enjoy the solitary sense of smell. Impatiently, Daniel shoved the AU's joystick full forward and nearly tipped over while rounding the corner into his kitchen.

"Holy Fraggin' Hell!" Daniel yelped, as he leaned into the corner to stop himself from tipping over.

The monitor on his kitchen counter mistakenly interpretted his panicked outburst for a voice command and opened his email inbox.  Meanwhile, the tipping AU fell back down level on the floor with all six wheels and came to a stop with a chirp of rubber.  He blinked his eyes several times at the monitor with suspicion.

"I didn't say Open Mail, you outdated pizo mierda," cursed Daniel under his breath.  He poured himself some Samerican Joy as he added two more tedious tasks to his night.  First, he would adjust the AU's joystick sensitivity settings.  Then second, he would troubleshoot the domestic monitor voice recognition to figure out if the problem was systemic or just a glitch with the monitor in the kitchen.

He took a sip a coffee. "I'm going to need this tonight," he thought to himself.

[Headphones] :: Gargoyle - Aesqe

Monday, April 04, 2005
Monkey Business

Click for more Thunderstorms Gear

If you're a regular around here, you know I like to mix it up on Thunderstorms.  Instead of having a seperate blog for each of my schizophrenic topics -- I simply leave my muse unmedicated, shake the digital Etch-A-Sketch, and see what digital masturbation comes from it all.  There's a 'twist my knob' joke in that, somewhere.

Enough already with the deep, sober thinking about religion and politics, or society and the planet, or life and death.  It's time for us to play with our happy bits (byting optional).

You regulars get to help beta-test and refine the next blogdrive poll idea I plan to give to Helpee.  Last time, I was honored, yet simultaneously horrified that my poll idea was used with little editting and input from others.  There's no guarantee that he'll even use this, but we'll have a little fun here anyway.

When do you masturbate?

  • Saving myself
    That's disgusting. I would never masturbate. God would most certainly kill a kitten, if I did.
  • Morning Wood
    I like to start my day with an orgasm, then I get out of bed. Carpe Diem or Carpe Monkey, it's all good.
  • Afternoon Delight
    Sometimes I like to sneak off during lunch and relief some stress. Or, when I first get home, I like to really unwind.
  • Shower Power
    I masturbate occasionally in the shower. It's mine and I'll lather it up however and for as long as I like.
  • Bed, Bath n Beyond
    If I get lonely on the weekend, I'll fill my bath tub with scented bath oils and light some candles.
  • Ever-ready Bunny
    It's difficult to answer this poll typing with just one hand and ... can't talk now ... busy. So very busy. Okay ... now, I'm just sleepy.

So, let's all hear about your naughty monkey business.  You can comment anonymously, if you're too shy.  For the sake of poll choices, I tried my best during the two minutes I was able to ponder this topic to make it as gender neutral as possible for full participation.  If you need help getting in the mood for this entry, you could always click on over to the Sexy Blogdrivers List and do some reading.

If you prefer some quick aural stimulation, I suggest checking out one of the two Jessica MP3s via the [Ear Candy] link.  For those of you that require more time to get in the mood, click on the 47 minute long RealAudio Stream in the [Headphones] by the Beat Monkeys.  Okay, then.  I'll leave you to your task.

[Headphones] :: Chibuku Mix - Beat Monkeys

Next Page