Saturday update: It was so fracking cold outside this morning, my normally large male endowment quickly turtle-headed, as the morning snot instantly froze in my nostrils. Not being sure which physical reaction to the abnormally chilly weather alarmed me the most, I instinctively grabbed my package and the word brisk popped up within a cartoon bubble inside my freezing phallic brain. I murbled aloud, "WTF?"
I quickly retreated back inside, and after my penis was restored to its original glory and wonderment, I could then think lucidly enough to schedule some inside activities for my day. Sitting in front of the monitor now, I notice that it's so bright and sunny outside, but I have to remind myself that it is just an alluring lie. Lie, lie, lie!
The last time I really thought about the weather was during my little holiday visit with Melicious' family in Cape Coral. It was about 10 degrees warmer by her pool than the poolside around here. I scribbled some random thoughts down one night around Christmas while listening to the tranquil sounds of the water falling from the hot tub into the pool.
While I don't normally like to share too much of myself on Thunderstorms for various reasons -- including possible health department code violations -- I already published this on Wall Writings, a blog by our friend, Akira3099. Here's my contibution to the Drunken Poet's Society:
A Thousand Miles So Near
In this time between day and night, I can see you in my mind's sight. Tropical birds will sing their song. It'll be daytime before long. In my quiet predawn repose, I travel to you where it snows.
I read and yet I do not know Where you are now or where you'll go. Somehow, I only think I'm well Thinking of you, my long lost Kel.
How are you and how was your day? I must wish I knew what to say. For me, it's like when things are great, I just wish you could participate. But you are there and I am here. Between us, a thousand miles so near.
So, there you have it -- hopefully the last time in 2006 that I post sappy, alcohol-induced poetry here. However, if you like reading poetry, there are hundreds of Blogdrivers posting their poetry. Here are a few of them:
Ana Marie Cox, founder of the much-loved political humor blog, Wonkette, announced Wednesday on the Imus in the Morning TV show that she will now just be editor emeritus and Wonkette will be actively run by two men. Imus interviewed Ana Marie Cox because she is promoting her newly published book about the underbelly of Washington, "Dog Days." While a work of pure fiction, Don Imus referred to the book as "laugh out loud funny." Given Cox's funny rants on Wonkette as a measuring stick, "Dog Days" is quickly going to be the hip book to tell your friends you are reading.
While I've rarely been complimented by anyone around me as being hip, I am a huge fan of Wonkette. The two men taking over the active writing on Wonkette have a tall pair of red pumps to fill.
Now here's a twist of the Wonkette story that falls under the topic that I call, "You Can't Make This Shit Up." One of the guys who will be writing for the Wonkette was just in the news -- and -- in J. Edgar Hoover fashion, he just may be a perfect fit for those Wonkette high heels.
You see, David Lat, a real-life assistant District Attorney in Newark, New Jersey, recently revealed that he is actually the "Article III Groupie." A3G is a female online persona who writes spicy, naughty, tongue-in-cheek blog entries about the U.S. federal judiciary on his/her blog, "Underneath Their Robes." Wasn't it the NJ governor who came out of the closet? I can't remember, now. Probably no connection there. Nevermind.
Peter Lattman just wrote about the whole twisted freak show on the Wall Street Journal Law blog. Read his post here. With the Samuel Alito Supreme Court Justice confirmation hearings coming up in the Senate, you should keep all three of those blogs in mind for insightful, if not irreverent commentary.
In a short strip of Kevin Baconian degree of seperation, Ana Marie Cox is also known to some of us scalier internet dinosaurs as the Bride of Suck. Sponsored by Wired, Suck.com had the archaelogical drop on the advance and popularity of snarky blogs. Back when multi-authored blogs were called e-zines, they were typically just ascii or ANSi. Only the hardcore geek enjoyed the VGA-psychodelic and multimedia artpack versions from the ACiD crew. Suck.com was a joy to behold of sarcasm and wit, back when we all dialed-up the internet for our geek-fix of humor and porn.
You can also fry up this digital dinosaur (kevin) bacon. With a casual glance inside the book at Amazon, you'll discover that my featured Digi-chick, Ana Marie Cox, co-editted that tome of snarkastic wonder with Joey Anuff. Additionally, the Sucksters had the comedic benefit of the illustrations of the talented artist, Terry Colon, and the wit and wisdom of Carl Steadman.
I'm grateful to Carl Steadman for creating Plastic.com, a site where I've been a member since the beginning. I don't regret donating a few bucks when Plastic needed it. I still find myself laughing at the twisted genius of Terry Colon's work on Plastic with his topic icons, too. The Suck.com book gives a great nod to our Plastic Carl with this acknowledgement:
"Carl Steadman, the lost Suckster, who can claim responsibility for everything involved in creating Suck that required verifiable skill. If it weren't for Carl, Suck would just be a word scrawled in crayon on the Wired restroom walls."
For a great article on the whole history and saga of Suck, read "The Big Fish" by Matt Sharkey. And now, Anna Marie Cox is again building her digi-chick fame in geekdom, beyond Wonkette, with "Dog Days." She rawks.
So ... why? Well, I go through the TAG board periodically (or when asked) and delete entries. Mainly I delete your entries because it reloads the page periodically or when you add a new entry for chatting and when it gets too large, it takes up bandwidth loading constantly. My general rule was this: if you put an annoying little smilie emoticon on the TAG, that entry was the first to go when I cleaned house.
The second rule: if the entry was older. But the second rule bummed me out because I hate to throw away memories, so, some entries were deemed to be classics and had to be preserved (like Hygelic reading my blog in the bathroom on his cell phone).
Then the first and second rules unfortunately clashed when it came to old school phreeks who might put an ascii emoticon at the end of their sentence, like Skennedy (et al). These people were violating my first unstated rule through no fault of their own, and, because the programmers of the TAG board must have thought to themselves, "how handy-fucking-dandy would it be if we just translated every ascii emoticon to a different happy little yellow face?" So, they dropped another few hits of Exstacy, patted each other on the back and went back to coding the TAG board.
So, whether it is a good thing or a bad thing -- I've decided to archive the TAG board here for all to see -- and still be able to delete older entries (and keep the TAG.html small) with a clear conscience. I normally archive halfway through the month.
Daveman » Have a Happy New Years duder! plh » Happy New Years!!! *tosses confetti at JfZ Giggles » I hope you have a great New Year, John!!! J f Z » *etnies punk: No, I don't know who you are. Should I care, though? etnies punk » yes it is awful warm here. etnies punk » Who do u think this is? etnies punk » What are you doing the day after christmas? Jagged » Hola! Feliz Navidad y todos cosas. Gloria » Merry Christmas, J. Jude » *gooses JfZ* Merry Merry, big guy! plh » Merry Christmas J f Z » Happy HannaKwanzMas, everyone. May your holiday suck less than a regular day in your life. brooke » fhdgg brooke » hey brooke » hey Angelena » It was mine. And happy holidays, J. Lyly » Have a great holiday John. ArLo » thanks man! walrus » wazzup, dude? J f Z » *Dave: That one was Ang's ... Heh. *Spritey: No, not by a long shot. plh » 6 days left - ya ready? Toaod » Hey, What did the I THink You Broke it suggestion orignally say? J f Z » *Mel - you could be a Cylon. *Hygelic - Okay, then. I emailed you again. I hope you're ok, bud. melicious » FYI typing a code does not verify i am a real person melicious » happy christmakwanzannakah John & everyone hygelic » will you fucking email me your number? I wanna talk to you before xmas -- email@example.com Dark Angel » *hugs* HEY! plh » hehehe *leaves reindeer droppins... plh » good entry! we need more toys like a hole in the head - hey wait ive got 2 holes in the head already - they are called my ears - in one out the other LOL Jude » PS: Happy, happy, Merry, merry, big guy. Jude » "SCSC Friday Fling, 1-3 pm, 1st and 3rd Friday. Dance to music by Helen Miller and the Nice 'n Easy Band at the South Country Senior Center. Cost: $4. See Hettie." -- Hettie must live a full life. Jude » John! You devil...good to see you again on aside! That entry was taken from a flyer left on our door, a gift from the local senior center. I feel so blessed. There was another that cracked me up-- Captain Hook » Go Paz! Whew, It got suddenly warmer here. Good to see you, my friend. Snow here, blazing heat there, eh? FreshnessMaker » thanks for the message JesterJosh » Somewhat ordered chaos, very good =^] plh » Happy Holidays 2 U! J f Z » Awww. E-hugs for Unknown! I need another nap in you lap. Heh. kristi/unknown » ahem... hello again. I was here. Love is grand, but can suck too. J f Z » <-- Iraq War discussion plh » awwwwwwwwwwww kitty again - soooo cute & cuddly