John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

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Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Halloween and Morphine Dreams


JfZ having Morphine Dreams

Happy Halloween!

I found this photo of me, just the other day, while I was searching through some digital archives for something else.  I thought, what better way to frighten small children and adults alike on Halloween than to put a scary photo of myself on the blog?

I think the barely undead look on my face is very appropriate.  Despite the pain and drugs, it says, "Thanks for taking this photo of me!"  Is it only a man's instinctive reflex to cover his crotch when he faces an assault?

It's very appropriate for Trick-or-Treat, too.  It shows me only a few hours after some reconstructive surgery to try to repair my shattered leg bones.  All the titanium and screws was some trick of orthopedic surgery.  The treat is that little, bright blue box hanging on the IV pole on the left side.  That little treat was a morphine drip pump, and it was very best friend until they kicked me out of the hospital.

Morphine Dream or Halloween Haunting?

I just woke up from a nap I had taken after dinner, this Halloween night.  I know I don't normally do this on Thunderstorms, but bear with me and I'll promise not to be too tedious about it.  I had a very unusual dream while asleep on Halloween night.

It was night time. I was in the car with my mom. We had just left from visiting my grandma who lived in some gated community. The car headlights shone on the guard shack. The guard looked at his watch, made a note, and lifted the gate. As we travelled along, I was lying down in the backseat. I watched buildings and sky pass by my view, from that odd angle of lying in the backseat. I thought maybe it was a childhood memory. Having my mom and grandma in the same place mostly happened only during my childhood.

 I watched the buildings. I saw a set of barge cranes. It made me believe I was in New Orleans, where you can look at a row of buildings and there will be a water canal just a block or two behind them. We passed a very tall set of commercial buildings. I thought to myself, "Wow, I hadn't seen those buildings on this route before."

I thought it was fun travelling around through the city and seeing new things. It's fun, even when someone else drives. As a child, you don't really have much control over where you might be travelling in the car when your mom drives, but you can just enjoy the ride and the discovery of new scenery. But, then I said, "I wish I could drive again. It's so god-damned depressing." This put my dream in the present, or at least not in my childhood. We were driving in the pre-dusk evening.

After some time, I sat up in the middle of the back seat. I could look ahead through the windshield. I saw there was a man in the front passenger seat. He looked to be about my mom's age. I didn't know who he was, but I wasn't concerned or alarmed by that.

At some point, I asked the man about something. He showed me a photo, or something with a photo on it. He passed it back to me to look at. I can remember struggling to see what was on the card sized envelope, at first. I tilted it one way and then another trying to get some light on it.

He spoke, but only half of the words were understandable. I kept asking, "What?" It was like having a conversation with someone who has limited english-speaking skills. I don't know if it is some strange kind of lucid dreaming skills that happen, but I remembering trying to see what was on the card and trying to understand what he saying. But, it was difficult.

The card had a photo on it, depicting the man sitting casually outside, wearing some funky-looking jeans with a deliberate pattern of bleach spots, or something. He explained to me that someone had given the jeans to him as a parting gift from a workplace. So, after some amount of time had passed, he took a photo of himself in the jeans, printed the image onto a card, and planned to mail it to his past co-workers. I don't remember if he actually explained this verbally to me, or if it was just one of those dream explanations, where you just understand something.

The image was weird though -- like it was a micro-thin LCD screen, or hologram image. I thought to myself, "this guy must have a very cool printer, if it can print out holograms for him."

At some point, my mom got nervous driving. It was now afternoon. There were storm clouds visible outside to the side of the car. I think it started raining lightly. She turned on the headlights and windshield wipers for a short time. I remember telling her not to be nervous, and reassuring her. I did a lot of reassuring and calming my mom in real life, when I moved in with her to take care of her.

We arrived somewhere pleasant. It had stopped raining, and the sun was shining. It was daytime. I don't know if it was her house, or the man's house, or even my house.

Then, I abruptly woke up.

So now, sitting here awake, trying to remember WTF happened in my dream and typing this, I have some questions.  It is strange to me that the dream seemed to progress backwards in time -- going from night, to evening, then afternoon, and then mid-morning daylight.

Other strange things: I very rarely dream about my mom or grandma.  They're both quite dead.  Who was the man in the front passenger seat?  Could he have been my father?  Did I have trouble understanding him because I never met him in real life?  Was my dream a dreadful omen -- or is my life in danger -- having travelled along on this road trip with dead people, backwards in time? While I didn't see any Sixth Sense red doorknobs, my dream was a little bit unnerving.

Do spirits visit you in your dreams?

Was my dream just a Halloween trick-or-treat of my mind?

 


Posted at 11:58 pm by John Furie Zacharias

Deirdre
November 2, 2006   07:57 AM PST
 
Dreams are very crazy.

I can't begin to explain any of mine but sometimes they are a lot of fun to have.

And sometimes, they are not. :(
Deirdre
November 2, 2006   07:59 AM PST
 
Ps. And I happen to LIKE that picture of you. It's ... cute. :D
jude
November 4, 2006   11:46 AM PST
 
A strange dream, well told. And I love your analysis/questions afterward. Do spirits visit you in your dreams? I think they do. In my world, anything is possible.

I've had some bizzare dreams...many, many bizarre dreams, but none that progressed in reverse. Reminded me of a great movie, "Memento"...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0209144/
jude
November 4, 2006   11:49 AM PST
 
...and my mismatched spelling of 'bizarre' was 'bizzare'...

Frak, I need coffee...
Daveman
April 3, 2007   12:56 PM PDT
 
Thats a story that sent me back to a couple of dreams I had of my grandparents. I should post something about that.
We know so little about the details of the departed, its hard to know if its just our minds at work, trying to deliver a message that pertains to the real world (in code) or if dreams are the only means the departed have in contacting us.
Only the Dead Know for sure. The hair dresser? Not so much.
plh
April 3, 2007   02:21 PM PDT
 
I bet that WAS an expensive halloweenie :P

i hate health insurance companies
J f Z
April 4, 2007   04:49 AM PDT
 
plh: Yep. Even worse? No insurance. In Bushworld, my decade's time of military service is worth nothing. No veteran's healthcare for me. Nada.

So, with no insurance, you simply lose your life's savings, sell your house, ruin your credit, and try not to think about it as your try to survive with major disabilities and ZERO help/assistance from the government.

 

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