John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica

 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
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Sunday, April 10, 2005
Swamp Gas - v. 006

Welcome to Swamp Gas in the Imajica.  Similar to the You Can't Make This Shit Up (YCMTSU) section, Swamp Gas will focus solely on news and items of interest in the sunshine state of Florida.

They say, "All the nuts in America roll downhill to Florida," so let's just see how true that phrase really is.

Click on the Swamp Gas logo for the smelly menu.

Swamp Gas v. 006

 Papal Squirrel BOCA RATON

When Roman Catholic Pope John Paul II died, Boca resident Ms. Kelly Foxton decided to honor the religious world leader by dressing up her little rescued tree friend, Sugar Bush Squirrel. While Ms. Foxton has retired from the Grand Ole Opry, it seems her entertainment career has gained a second wind through photographing the squirrel. Ms. Foxton boasts that she has over 1000 outfits for her supermodel squirrel who is both very much alive and even patriotic. With such a prolific modelling portfolio, it makes me wonder how long it will take to popularize the phrase, "You've been squirreled!"


 Elsie the Ecoli EUSTIS

Despite the fact that over two dozen people recently have been infected by E.coli and children are still hospitalized, some with Hemolytic Uremic Syndrome, from having contact with animals at three other central Florida area fairs linked to the Ag-Venture traveling petting zoo, the Lake County Fair opened its gates Thursday. Here's my tip for the little kiddies to avoid infection: Wash your hands. Don't suck your thumb after petting smelly animals. And just to stay even safer, never eat the cheese burgers sold at county fairs.


 GOP dumping Martinez as he says What - my memo? ORLANDO / WASHINGTON

When I said earlier that "you're simply not paying attention" concerning the politics of the Schiavo case, I should have directed that comment to Republican Senator Mel Martinez as he handed the now infamous Schiavo Talking Points Memo to Democratic Senator Tom Harkin on the Senate floor. First pleading ignorance, then denying, then admitting, and finally passing the buck to Brian Darling, Martinez accepted the staffer's resignation. Way to go Brian, for taking a shot to the nuts for the team!

While some people point to the connection between Brian Darling and Texas Congressman Tom Delay, the rabid, do-anything-it-takes pro-life politics of Martinez likely hails back to his FSU college buddy and law partner, Ken Conner, who is not only president of Florida Right-to-Life, but also the powerful DC-based Family Research Council. Now that some Republicans are calling Tom Delay 'an embarrassment' to the party, others say the untasteful politicization of the Schiavo case by Martinez is just the latest outrage in a long pattern, prompting some to call him Sideshow Mel.


[Headphones] :: Democrusader - JfZ   NEW

Posted at 11:15 pm by John Furie Zacharias

April 11, 2005   06:07 PM PDT
I can hear the squirrel singing now, "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurrrrts...."
J f Z
April 11, 2005   07:25 PM PDT
[name clicky] Are you sure that's not Sinister Ninja aka Sinja?

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