John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica



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Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Swamp Gas v. 001


Welcome to Swamp Gas in the Imajica.  Similar to the You Can't Make This Shit Up (YCMTSU) section, Swamp Gas will focus solely on news and items of interest in the sunshine state of Florida.

They say, "All the nuts in America roll downhill to Florida," so let's just see how true that phrase really is.

Click on the Swamp Gas logo for the smelly menu.

Swamp Gas v. 001

BOCA RATON

Given the reaction, you'd think friggin' Godzilla was causing havoc around Boca Raton.  According to the Boca Beacon, there are just too many lizards roaming the island of Boca Grande.  It's been Monster Island for many years according to some local residents expressing their anger and dismay over the iguana problem at the local community meeting.

Lee county animal services "handles cats and dogs and doesn't do exotics," Scott Trebatoski, director of Lee County Animal Services, reminded residents during the recent meeting.  Lulu could not be reached for a comment on this story.


LADY LAKE

It's official.  Kathy Bates has left the tree house.  In a waddling swarm of helpful estrogen, things were boxed up and removed.  As DWStumps might appreciate, the ice cube trays are still all present and accounted for, and even better, no DNA was removed and allowed to spawn elsewhere.

The toilet seat will now remain in the vertical and upright position.  Unfortunately, there will be no more updations on the Broken Kitty in the Imajica.  As inevitable surprises rate, this game has been played many times in the past.  I have my towel.


CEDAR KEY

Not quite related to the above story, but no one likes to eat bad clams.  The recent hurricanes in Florida did cause some damage to the clam harvest, according to Jim Hoy of the Cedar Key News.  Hoy reports further on the damage:
Cedar Key had little damage overall from recent hurricanes Charlie, Frances and Ivan.  However, storm damage to our clam crop is not yet fully known according to University of Florida Extension Mariculturist Leslie Sturmer.

Fortunately, a majority of the Levy County clammers have joined the Federal Risk Management Agency insurance program and are eligible for payments for their losses.
Your federal tax dollars hard at work.  Better put some Tabasco sauce on the next thick load of slime you slide down the back of your throat because even though it may be an evil clam -- you paid for it -- twice.








[Headphones] :: Jessica: Sanibel Island - JfZ




Posted at 08:34 pm by John Furie Zacharias

 

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