John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica

 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
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Friday, November 05, 2004
Mandate This!

 Mandate This!
Unlike the prepared speeches that the Bush administration carefully crafts for the president, like Karl Rove's stirring victory speech this week, there are times when the leader of the free world can display a little of his own personality.  Usually, after George Bush stumbles through the prepared remarks for a press conference announcing some agenda or policy -- carefully trying to pronounce those pesky foreign words or straining to hold back his nervous snickers during nuanced economic phrases -- the president can then just relax a little.  He seems most comfortable with himself during the conversational post-press conference question and answer period.  During a recent press conference, a reporter erroneously asked the president what his thoughts were concerning the death of Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat.

The president snickered and replied, "Ding Dong. The wicked witch is dead."

Oddly putting a finger in his ear, he then said, "Oh. I mean, God bless his soul."

I'm so glad the Mandate Monkey kept his job.  John Kerry would have been all serious and broke into a boring explanation of the history of the Israeli people post WWII, mixing in concerns for Palestinian economic projections, and the latest intelligence coming in hourly on the tense mood of the region.  Nobody wants to hear that shit.  We like our president to be unplugged from reality and able to explain what snacks he likes to eat while watching Nascar racing with his dog, Barney.

One thing has been troubling me, though. If Red State America gave George Bush a historic victory and a mandate to continue to fuck the country sans vaseline for four more years, who didn't vote for him?

According to projections and analysis, about 60% of all the people in our country got off their ass and voted, and 40% did not.  I'm not entirely positive about the exact numbers, but let's do the math in the easiest way possible.  Not including about a half-million people that apparently voted for Ralph Nader, about half voted for Bush and the other half voted for Kerry.

The voters basically broke down into three groups: 30% (plus some) for Bush, 30% (minus some) for Kerry and lastly, the Nader hippy commune -- who we'll leave alone while we're doing mathematics -- so as not to create any troubling karma and harsh their buzz as they design hemp camping trailers.

Mandate this?
If you add the two groups of people in the country who did not vote for George W. Bush in 2004, 40% plus 30%, that equals 70% of the citizens of the United States.  I'd argue that Bush's 30% doesn't equal a historic mandate for shit.  I'm sorry, but it just doesn't add up.  Cheney can lie, but math doesn't.

Now, I have been busy with my own life and not having any children of school age means that I'm a little ignorant to what new math curriculum is popular now.  This topic totally flies under my personal radar for the most part.  I do know most kids go to public schools, some go to private schools and some are home schooled. However, what I don't know, or must have missed, is this: when did the No Child Left Behind program start teaching creationist mathematics?


[Headphones] :: Jessica: Pleasure Club Mix - JfZ

Posted at 11:23 pm by John Furie Zacharias

November 6, 2004   07:22 PM PST
When you think of it like that you do have to wonder what would have happened if everyone voted

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