John Furie Zacharias
having a bad day in a strange place
Thunderstorms Anywhere

Thunderstorms in the Imajica



 The different ways I don't like you 
 in a list that may never become organized
[Search Topics]

[Bush] [Fraggin']
[Iraq] [Conspiracy]
[Florida] [Evil Thumbnails]
[Iran] [Sex]
[NASA] [Movies]
[Politics] [GooTube]
[Media] [TIDGADA]
[Sports] [LBOH]



[Tag Board] [Archives]
   
<< November 2003 >>
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
 01
02 03 04 05 06 07 08
09 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30

JfZ making a mess of the web
[@twitter] [@facebook]
[@playlist] [@plastic]
[@vodpod] [@zazzle]
[helpforum] [web-litter]
[verissimus] [morphine dreams]
[dark skies] [brilliant weeds]


Phreek-went Phaves
[blogs] [ezines] [rtmfd]
[eye candy] [ear candy]
[mind candy]

[Buy Thunderstorms Gear]
Get Some Effin' Gear

[Supported Causes]





Add to My Yahoo!
[+ favorites]
AddThis Feed Button
rss feed


Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Privacy Policy


If you want to be updated on this weblog Enter your email here:

Friday, November 07, 2003
Like Hygelic, his pungent fish fragrance filled the room


Sucks to be Boris
I think root canal surgery on polar bears (ursus maritmus) is a growth industry.  According to Rhonda Savage, a dentist near Tacoma, polar bears kept in tiny circus cages around the world develope a nervous habit of rubbing their teeth on the metal bars and excess wear can occur.  I can empathize with this, as I grind my teeth at night.  Recently, one of these polar bears, a 19-year-old named Boris, went in for some dental work to take care of two problem teeth.

You'd think it would be tough performing two root canals on a 1,018-pound, meat-eating beast with 4-inch claws.  Not according to Boris' dentist, Edmund Kwan.  Not quoted as saying, "First, you just knock the bitch out like some fat, middle-aged teamster and then use a larger drill bit".

While Boris got two root canals done, it's known that his buddy, Kenneth will require five surgeries.  Dentists are salivating and rubbing their own teeth on cash registers at the prospect of a whole new growing demographic of clientele.

As many women have had their dentist fondle them while under anesthesia, Boris also had liberties taken.  With no prior consent, they drew blood and urine from him.  While this seems to be a gross violation of his privacy, Boris doesn't plan any litigation as he had no dental insurance to cover the financial cost of his procedures.

Although The News Tribune in Tacoma didn't specify if Boris was a Republican at the time of his root canal, my personal opinion is that Boris is more likely to be a Libertarian as he certainly would devour any donkey or elephant meat given to him like a free hot wing appetizer at Hooters.  Donkeys and Elephants can eat tons of grass every day but get all righteous if a couple of polar bears smoke any.


Posted at 04:18 am by John Furie Zacharias

 

Leave a Comment:

Name


Homepage (optional)


Comments




Bookmark and Share



 
Previous Entry Home Next Entry